NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!

1. Get myself studying for semester 2 in an attempt to better my grades.

2. Get myself working out to tone up my body.

3. Get myself a diving license.

4. Get myself a job during the holidays.

5. I shall speak no more than 7 vulgarities in a week.

6. I shall try to keep myself commitment-free, hopefully.

7. Be a better person, always there for anyone who needs me.

8. Enjoy my life no matter how tough it gets.

Reflections..

So here I am again, my reflections in 2009. It was a hectic year. So many things happened during the year, as it should be. I WENT TO SPAIN! I made new awesome friends, friends that I will surely never forget ever again. A new school life that started in April now seem so near after all. I even realized I knew who my true friends were, and those who just needed me for benefits. I also realized myself getting really soft-hearted and tried my best helping my friends as much as possible even if it means a disadvantage to myself. I thought I found myself a more useful person to my friends and my family.

I got my driving license, probably the first among the people in my year. How fast that is when just.. 2 years back I was still studying and enjoying school life. With my license, I surely got closer to a lot more of my friends. Able to just hang out awhile into the night and reminisce about the past.

To a great success though, I cut down on my drinking. Now my house is full of alcohol of all kinds. I stopped the crazy ongoing of clubbing.

This hasn't been a real reflection of my 2009, it has only a small part to what I have just said. The real reflection that I know of is, I think I have yet to change as a person, personally. I am still that kind of guy that, hopefully you can depend on if you are in any trouble. Friends are of the highest order in my life alongside my family. In my realization, at the back of 2009 was a year for me to actually quieten down my life. All the happenings and all the partying in the early days of 2009 gradually stopped. I rather myself stay at home and that helped me spend a little more time with my family members. I also realized my thinking has surely matured a lot, though I still love to have fun no matter how mature I think I am. I haven't really changed as a person since leaving secondary school.

To another extent, I have to reflect on the downs of 2009 as well. Though it wasn't all up, I always tell myself to put a smile on my face no matter how sad I am so that it wouldn't affect the people around me. 2009, if my life could get the boredom out of you, could have been a tragic year. I didn't get the results I expected for my 'O' Levels to get into the course I wanted. Right after that, I got rejected by the one I pursued for more than a year. It affected me quite a bit. I had never gone after a girl that I barely knew and somehow, just got closer and closer. A year of courtship and of me taking the whole initiative, I just rejected there and then. I released myself for almost a year, moving on from her but staying as good friends. In between, it was quite a good thing I didn't have to take any sub-papers for my first semester though my GPA was a piece of shit in the end. And in the last 2 months of 2009, I was close to a friend that I knew since Primary3, and barely stayed in contact in the whole of secondary school. It was only in poly that she really caught my eye. Too bad, again I'm rejected, twice in a year. A first for me. I soon found out that a girl in class was interested in me and that is a whole new story ready to progress into the next year.

2009 has been a good year if I must say.

I don't know..

I really don't know what has gotten into me, but recently, I feel myself more sensitive to how people around me, close or not, treat me. I myself, personally feel that I'm a fucking nice person. I hope people can count on me. I hope people see me as a friend they can look for in trouble or not. I just hoped that people can enjoy themselves when I'm around. Up until now, I've always enjoyed helping my friends. I rarely say no. I always want to help. Up until now, I didn't really bother if people didn't like me, if no one appreciates my help or for that whole matter, appreciates me. I knew I liked myself for who I am, thats why. Up until recently... I never realized there was a real monster living inside me, but knowing the person I am, I never go berserk and start unleashing that monster within me. I've kept and still keeping calm. To avoid quarrels and fights, I always give in and then I take the burden of the being the problem. I've never said a word back. Up until recently, I feel terribly used. I'm now seen as many as a friend with benefits. A lot of benefits, for that matter. And again, up till recently..

I'm starting to feel the pain. I've been suffering in silence and not show it. I've been way too good. I thank God for having friends that do appreciate me, at the very least. I have finally felt fucked up. I had never known hate, but now I know. I had never known so many things. I've rarely felt appreciated. I have never spoken a word of retort if no one has said a simple, " Thanks." to me at all. I feel guilty of my own pain. I've let people step on my head one time too many. For all of my size, I'm oblivious to people's surroundings at times. And again I've never said a word on it. I see myself helping people achieve their goal, but I never seem to be helping myself reach my own goal. It might be in my head, but I really do feel fucked up right now.

I know it might sound immature for typing all this bullshit out. Sounding as though I'm so insecure about how people view me as a friend. I've got no control over what people do and say and think. I just have to accept that fact and suck it up no matter how many times I try to change that. It is that fucked up.

Though I'm saying all this, my help to people will never change. I'm still that carefree, helpful-if-you-ever-need-my-help person. I'll be there for my friend, for good or bad. I'll always be available for my friend, for good or bad. All I'm just asking, is for a little appreciativeness, not just to me, but for anyone that ever offers help.

P.S.

To that one, you can take as long you want to decide what is best for you. You can decide as long as you want to see if you are ready again to step into a commitment. You can decide, as long as you want, on how long it is to move on from the past and live anew again. All I'm ever asking, is the assurance that I'm not waiting for nothing and that there is hope, that you can see "us" in the future, whether long-distance or short. I'll be there, as always.

NO SHIT!

It has been quite sometime since I've sat my ass down and typed what I really am feeling right now. All this time while away, the hols came and gone as though it never came. First week of school started and we're on the way for the second week. This is where everything shall begin for me. Study hard. Gym hard. I need to really work hard now to get my pathetic GPA up. Though no supp papers were needed, I had to admit I gradually became disgusted at my GPA. Who knew it could've been that bad. I will stick to my word that I will study hard. If I don't, then I shall dig my grave further. So much for studying, I need to burn off some fats, like seriously. I will make it a point to hit the gym for fitness and weight loss. I'm sick of seeing my body turn into nothing but a blob of fats whenever I look in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I'm feeling so worried about how I look like, physically.

Another thing bothering me has been the love shit. At the start of the year, a few of my friends broke up with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Now, just recently a few of my friends are attached. Intriguing thing is that, I'm still scared to step into the relationship field. I'm scared to ask because I'm scared of rejection. I worry that I am not able to handle any difficult situation well. For the first time in my life again, I feel scared. Those who know me knows that I'm never scared of anything. Some asked why do I have the sudden urge to want to get into a relationship. To be honest, I don't know. I've been too carefree to be bothered with anything else. I feel that I need to change that feeling. I answer to no one but my mother. Up till recently, I found someone. Shockingly, she is someone that many will not have expected it will be her that I have fallen for. She attracts me for loving who she is and not what she thinks she's supposed to be. She has her goals in life. She is neither plain nor wild. She loves the comforts of her home. She can cook. She never judges unless she has to. Treasures what she has. She is neither too pretty nor ugly. Neither fat nor thin. She might seem the fairy tale type of girl many look at. In fact she is, unbelievably. I, for one, wouldn't have known that things would have turned out this way. We were same class way back in primary school and I barely knew who she was. We were close until only since the middle of last year. Only problem now, she isn't ready and maybe so am I.

Peace..

Enjoy life for we live once only.

A classic failure..

Sometimes, I really think if I am dreaming. The aspirations I have of driving a Mazzerratti one day, of living in Japan while opening a garden with my house next to the seashore. They seem to be aspirations where it is only really... a dream. Damn.

Today while driving back after dropping Shaun and the others back at Tampines, my mind started to wonder. There are just some things that aren't going my way and I am seemingly going to lose my sense of self-control. The girl that I like, or rather, I ADMIRED, for a long time, doesn't seem to want to know me. It seems the feeling isn't there. She taught me Chemistry back at school but damn... how little chemistry we have between each other. There just seems to be no other; one is overseas and probably with another guy and the other seems to be just my 'very good friend' and nothing else. The other thing that is bothering me is my flabby body shape. I really need to start keeping my body in shape. Hell.. I've been treating myself with food food food food and yea, MORE FOOD! And no exercise as well. Rugby training is really going to come into handy while Shaun and I are thinking of picking up the skates again. Damn.. I seriously need to cut off those spare tires and stop being lazy and pick up those weights more frequently at home and not wait for gym sessions that are never coming. The other thing bothering me, are my studies. I don't know if I can get through this round of exams. Seeing that I spent the ENTIRE week on 1 subject, it helped me catch on areas that were vital for the paper. The rest of the papers, I have to say I struggled as well. I need to keep up the pace with others and not slack off. If the sms-es or e-mail says I need to go for them sup-papers, I know I have 1 last chance of putting a pass grade at least.

Those are the few worries that have been going on in my head for quite sometime. The last of all is, I just realized how much time I have lost of not spending time with my old mates. 3 cliques came together today to school, our alma-mater, to celebrate Teacher's Day. Mrs Calais, Mrs Chan, Mr Kwok and so many others. I missed the times we shared the laughter with these many teachers and the hard and good times we went through. Looking back at those times, I believed I enjoyed to the max. And the friends we made during the time and the close bonding we have made. James, Shaun, Nick, Ben and I. Damn we had a seriously fun time today. Not much of playing but back to where we loved doing together like playing pool and simply chilling out with one another and reminiscing the old times. As promised, we want to do this more often and we so want to.

With this phrase, I'll take my leave: Respect is not given by one's status, but by one's character..

Peace, Lets roll..

Somethings..

Somethings should sometimes be left unsaid..

How I wish I am actually living right beside the sea. The outside world could go on forever without pausing while I can pause in life and enjoy the peaceful scenery of the sea. My world has been on the go ever since school started and I just realized, that I have yet to take a break. As I was sitting on the bus home today, reflections of what I have done over the past few months came flashing back to me. Just last April I started school. Just a week ago I passed my driving. Just a few days back Michael Jackson, " The King of Pop " passed away. And just yesterday, I realised how lost I have been. I haven't been doing anything meaningful except go to school then come home and then on the computer. Soccer with the group has decreased while sailing has deceased in my books. I have no other pursuits in my already glittered life with many good friends and a good family. The one pursuit I was chasing has asked me to give up.

I so need to look forward to something. I have been brooding about the past while I have been telling others to look forward to the future.

Why has it become so difficult to believe me whenever it is needed? Or am I just seen as a joke who doesn't mean what he says? STOP FUCKING DOUBTING ME, I so beg of you.

·Peace™·

'Cos' you were all that i needed..

Reminiscient..

Relieving the past and still feel bothered by it shows that one hasn't actually moved on. I haven't actually moved on. It has been so long yet when I was there at the place where many things took place, it felt like it was just yesterday. I tried not to think about it but the more I continued to look around, the more I remembered.

Damn I know I have to stop all this going on in my effing head. An incident occurred to me today. A reminder as to a change in life where we all must take. Switching from secondary to poly means a switch of mindset; from the ultimate childish thinking to thinking wisely and not make rash decisions. Turning 17 and 18, it is time we think about the future. Especially relationships. We cannot go back to secondary school style where it is the " I-like-you-you-like-me-so-lets-get-together". This moments are just to feel good for the moment. Is there true love and at the end of the argument, commitment and trust even, in the relationship? 1 has to learn and think of the future. Now, being in a relationship is easy to say. But living in a Singaporean way-of-life society, questions will raise. For guys, army will be the pivotal part, furthering of studies and pursuing of a career. Girls are just short of army. There are many things to consider. Imagine a guy still furthering his studies while his girlfriend has already started earning her keep. Complications will add up and then..a breakup. In this high standard society and especially Singapore, a relationship is sometimes dependent on the paycheck and the type of work. Parents will then come into the way.

Yes I might agree with a few that what I'm blabbering about is way too long-term. However take a step back and see the big picture. You will, in 1 effing fine day, will go through this. Poly is where maturity has to take place and be instilled in us.

For single guys, take a chill pill and just enjoy life. Meet more new people each day. Satisfy yourself to just looking and nothing more. The right one will eventually appear, so be patient.


·Peace™·
Cos' I'm feeling good..finally.

Lalala

Ok.. I've been thinking what I should actually post about. Poly has been sucking the life stock out of me so much so that I have rarely energy to observe my surroundings. But I think entering poly, has enlightened me to 1 fact: People change. New friends, new surroundings. More freedom to express themselves. Urgency to do well. Poly is major stage in the education system. Somehow, it is also a stage where sometimes the best and the worse of people seem to eek out of them. Many friends of whom I have known for sometime since primary school to secondary school. Many I have met again have greeted me the usual way: the handshake and a lil' catch up. Many on the other hand, seem to barely know me. Which makes me stop and think if I actually knew them. New friends would surely mean, to some people, a need to change to adapt into a new environment. A need to change one's behaviour and lifestyle and the way one talks. This is something that puts me off a little. Poly is somewhere we can finally express ourselves and act out our true personality. Not to change. I'm glad, and safe to say, I haven't changed 1 bit. I am exactly who I am. I have shown people what personality and character I have. I appreciate the freedom imposed on me. I'm a free man. People I know have struggled for this aspect and have changed a little.
Another thing that I have managed to squeeze out of my brain was that somehow, poly is a place where people have to take a step of faith and be courageous. CCAs have recently started and I myself was afraid I would be a loner and have no friends. Somehow, with a little aid, I have made a few more friends. Conversations sparked and the fire never went off. Some might say it is easy to meet new people. Like James for example, he can just go up to any guy and introduce himself and somehow, a conversation will spark off. Making new friends...never seemed easier!

Somehow, the way it all ended, the silence in between was utterly cold. It never started and it never ended. If you still do treat me as a ' very good friend ', please, tell me what you really felt.


·Peace™·
Cos' we need those guts of ours..

Hmmm

Hmm. I want to scream. I really have no clue. My heart pulsates whenever my eyes meet yours. I guess this is why every time I've said no. I want keep my distance before I fall too deep. I will start having second guesses. Being conscious about myself whenever I see you. It hasn't been a long time since we've known each other. My actions have caused misunderstandings already and I'm really afraid shit might happen again. Hmm. What a to-do. I haven't forgotten my committment to someone. Though it might seem impossible that it might even happen. Haiz. I guess life just gets even more complicating though everytime I say that life is actually that simple to live. Ahh fuck it. Love sucks. Though single life is rocking my socks away, I miss having someone being there for me when I'm really in need of help and support. A special companion. A treasured someone. Yes, indeed friends have been a real help to me for the past 2+ years but I still yearn for that feeling. What with poly being an integral part of me now, it is difficult to adapt to the need of better time management. I barely have time for many things nowadays. So.. fuck this shit.

·Peace™·
Ahh fuck it..

Misunderstandings..

Aye.. where to start? I have been feeling mis-understood all this time. I think everyone that I'm close to, or at least, good friends with, know that I am someone who treats everyone well, as long as your my friend. But if my actions seem to show a motive or giving you a hint to something, please I beg you, NOT TO MIS-UNDERSTAND MY ACTIONS. I treat everyone fairly and equally. It is never in my nature to mis-treat somebody. Even if I do, I make up the mistake and make it up to that person. I never want people to mis-understand my actions and let them know that whatever I'm doing is really, just in my nature.

Hmm. This few days has been a turmoil for me. Money spent unwisely was 1. I mean, $47.50 on bowling? WHOA! Then there were other issues where I feel I'm being used. This has been a very long time since I've ranted here since I've been typing out about mistakes I myself have learnt from. I hate the feeling of being used. Time and again, I've told myself that no matter under what circumstances, I shall never be someone needed only for the bad times. I mean, it is alright if you want me to lend you a listening ear, however I don't want to be taken for granted. That sucks, really.

Why have so much problems come up with whatever I do? I can't live by each day thinking whether I have created problem. My actions have caused mis-understandings. My heart has been played. The one interest that I have is slipping away and most probably belong to someone else already. I think the only reason why I am still able to wake up each day is to look forward to soccer trainings and hanging out with the soccer team. I hardly know what I am up to and barely know what are my directions. Even sailing, I am losing out the passion I am having in it. Yes he might not make it but will they still want to consider me? My soccer standard has dropped considerably. The only thing that I am good at, I think, is just playing DotA, and wasting money away. I can't wait for school to start so that I can put my focus at somewhere else and not think of the daily problems. I can't rely on playing pool or going bowling as it really is taking up too much money of mine. Haiz, how good is it not to be me eh?

·Peace™·
Cos' I'm fading out..

If..

Here is a song that we should all listen to:

"My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"

Whats past is past, however take some time off to remember and enjoy what you have done before. Never forget friends of old and new. Live each day as though it is the last. Make your life good no matter how hard it is. I love this part.." Each day's a gift and not a given right. Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind. That first step you take is the longest stride. "

What a song..

·Peace™·
Cos' just enjoy every moment of your life..

Hmmm...

Funnily how I have been actually deciding to write anything here. For quite sometime I haven't blogged. Now I've already blogged in a span of a few days. Hmm and that is because there have been something on my mind and that my friends have been talking about it as well. I want to ask all, whoever might be reading this retarded piece of shit, : Do you know the true meaning of love? I'm very sure majority of answers would be : It is a feeling. It is a gesture. Yes this are the right answers. However, I would really urge you to step into the realm and think again. Love is actually, a committment. Yes, love is a feeling, undoubtedly. But imagine this 1 simple scenario : What happens when you feel the feeling has faded? Are you just end the relationship and find the feeling back with another? After hearing from a married couple about their committment to one another is simply, touching and full of envy. 20years of being married and another 5 years of courtship. What committment eh? Many asked how they have managed to sustain such a lasting marriage. The answer was just as easy as reciting ABC : committment. Also, surely, in a world like ours now. We talk about having boyfriends or girlfriends. Maturely speaking, many now have matured and says that, no matter what happens, being committed to the one that you are with, is just the best. It is a responsibility. It is also a chance to mature oneself. I haven't had the chance for a little more than 2years since that last ordeal. Life is full of ups and downs and many of us do not have true friends. The kind of friends who go through thick and thin with you, the kind that you know, who has your back. At least you know that you have someone close enough, to share your joy and pain, your sufferings and your celebrations. So my only advise is to choose wisely and to think carefully. It is useless to just enter a relationship based on feeling and that both of you are in it because you just ' love ' each other. Both must have the maturity and the responsibility and the committment to stick together.

I know I have been sounding a little old for awhile. But I believe this are learning processes that help one learn from mistakes. I'm not calling myself significant but I know I have been through periods where I believe Life is trying to make a statement. Everything is never perfect, no matter how perfectly you plan things out.

·Peace™·
Cos' Life is full of mysteries...

Trust...

Here am I typing away in the morning. Unusual of me to do so. There's 1 thing on my mind that is irritating me for quite awhile. The word trust. When it comes to trust issues, it is a big deal. When the trust between 2 people is damaged, it can never be repaired. I admit that I myself sometimes cannot be trusted. I'm living in a life of lies. Trust is.. feeling secure, knowing that you can count on that person. In a relationship, without trust nothing is possible. Both parties would start doubting each other. Whats the use of the relationship since there is no trust? I remember myself getting stuck in a situation like this. I was good friends with my ex-girlfriend's best friend. We would go out for lunches or for dinners a few times since we lived close to one another. But here is the catch : My girlfriend knows about it. I tell her about it and she accepts it. There is communication. When there is communication, there would certainly be trust. I remember having friends telling me that they do not trust their boyfriends/girlfriends. This is a simple decision to make if you really don't trust your partner : Thrash things out with them or simply, break up? It is harsh but it is the suggestion. Trust is built on a long-term basis. You can't just go up to a person and tell them ' I trust you '. That would totally be ridiculous. For a guy, for someone to trust them is almost like their credibility. When the guy is not trustworthy, there would be a chain reaction among friends that he is not trustable. It is especially true when a guy tells a girl he would wait. Proving her wrong that guys can wait for anything. Once the girl is proven wrong, there is trust. Time plays a part. People need to know what type of person are you. I know many trusted friends. But remember, they aren't exactly your best friends. Time plays a part because it allows you to know that person better.
I used to be a liar, a total bitchass liar. I lied to my parents before. I lied to teachers before. I lied to friends before. But all that has changed. I realise that, once a lie is told, another lie has to be committed. Would you want to live a life of lies? It certainly is useless. Also in the real world, with a person of trust, there would certainly be contacts all around. The cruel and real world needs trustworthy people. It is becoming a nuisance, what with corruption and many other tragedies befalling on innocent people.
If your reading this somewhere out there. Trust is a virtue. Being trusty is being cool.

·Peace™·
Cos' trust is the love..

...

I have witnessed 2 sad events in only a week. 2 break-ups, 2 decimated souls looking for help. I've never really envisaged myself in such a situation. And coming to think of it, it was just about a year ago on the evening of 16th December 2007 when we decided to break-up. How fast has time flies eh? I must confess that, when I was told of this 2 recent incidents, I realised that you have actually never left me. We went out a couple of times together and have been chatting all the way through the night. I realise we were just friends. I must say that relationships can bring out the good and the bad of individuals. For me, it brought out the best in me. I cared for someone other than my family. I knew what responsibility was. I knew how to console someone and cheer someone up. I knew I would always be there to lend someone a listening ear whenever they wanted. If they needed help from me, I would be gladly assist them. Even if they didn't treat me well, I would still treat them as a friend. Also, this has brought out the worst in me. I found out I wasn't the type to let go easily. I realised that whats past is past and can never be relieved again. But I had to learn, to learn to move on. To let go and to think positive. For this 2 incidents, both had and are still having difficulties moving on. Friends are surely the utmost importance. I remembered I barely had a single good friend when I broke up with her. I didn't have someone to talk to, to pour my soul out to and to lift my burden to. Sure, reality might have made you a fool. However there is 1 thing that can certainly allow you to move on and tell back reality, is to look forward. Move on. What is done is done and no one will ever have the power to turn back time. Whoever out there who might be reading this might say I'm blabbering nonsense just to fill the spaces, but I'm sure you have felt that way before, just like everyone else?

There is someone I am waiting for. Though many have said that it might be futile to wait as she might not accept me in the end. But why give in when no decision has been made? God makes each and everyone of us fight for what we want. I know, undoubtedly there would be millions of obstacles that would be put in my way, but I'm going to go on and fight for what I want. This has been the lowest week of my holidays and I really do hope, that there would be something good at the end of it all.

·Peace™·
Cos' life is full of ups and downs..

P.S. Eh yo Brother and peas.. if you really come across here and read whatever somehow and some way. Cheer up, move on. There is nothing else but the future left to discover. GAMBATEH!

Learning to adapt..

Hmm.. where shall i start? Here I am seated infront of my computer thinking; How did my 2008 end and how did my 2009 start. Surprisingly, I ended and started the years with a new group of friends. Before my 2008 ended, I managed to get my lazy ass to Japan through the school's Japan Exchange programme. To many, Japan was the PLACE to be: a heaven, a holiday or even to finally seat on an aeroplane and out of Singapore. To me, this was a time to clear my thoughts. I had so many things to deal with in Singapore. I couldn't let go nor solve. Japan became my escape. I forgot everything and enjoyed my time thoroughly in Japan. 12months of persuing that one unreachable goal. Has my time been worth it? I barely made new friends nor wanting to get to know more people. I exercised every ounce of determination I had to get that elusive one. Many called me dumb and just wasting my time. Many said that it was a time where God wants to test my faith, my determination, my drive and my passion. Through this torturous journey, I've learnt many things: what we desire may not come true; what we hope to be may never happen. I've learnt to expect the unexpected. I've learnt that no matter how hard one may try, they may never get what they want. This tested my personality and my character: Am I a person who gives up easily or am I a person who is willing to try even though there is no success? I have become half-hearted. I want to let go but I still believe there is a chance. The only thing that could actually let me forget was a need in company. My good old friends have their own lives to live. Many are working their butts off while others have entered army. Finally I have actually found the real answer: I needed new friends. It is as simple as that. The Japan Exchange has allowed me to make new friends. They weren't like my old group of friends. However I had to adapt. Force out my personality and adapt to theirs. I'm proud to say that I managed to achieve that throughout the 9days we had together in Japan. They allowed me stop thinking about her. For once in 11months, She was out of my mind. I have always stressed the importance of friends in my very own life. This has certainly been proof of so. This post doesn't talk much. Its what I have been thinking. So piss off you have nothing nice to say.


·Peace™·
Cos' give our friends the love they deserve..