The Last Waltz..

I remember the time when the passion of swimming and soccer took over my life in Primary school. I remember sailing became what I loved for 8years. I remember that I made friends I would never forget. Most importantly, I remember a place where I've called home for 11years. Its not my house. Neither is it another house. But it is at this place I've discovered myself, that gave myself a chance to learn and develop myself. It was at this place where I've done phenomenal things : Breaking a law, learning vulgarities, found friends, had fun and found myself - an identity that will stay with me forever until a dying day. I remember that a person once mentioned that once you live this place, there will always be yearning to come back, a desire to relieve good, bad and the great memories of this place. Once a Hildan, ALWAYS a Hildan. Many of us students disliked that school. Why? Unreasonable teachers. Unreasonable school rules. Relentless givings of homeworks. Yet this phrase of Once a Hildan, Always a Hildan keeps coming around every once or twice a week. Everyone found it tiresome, naggy and loathing. Indeed, many did not like that school, also to a point where people hated the school. I admit i felt the same way because of several fantastic reasons. However it came to pass that I've actually been in this school for 11years. Within this school, I've known friends for 10-11years - Claudia, Christine, Amos, Jerrold, Shaun, Mark, WeiZhi, Zena, Rachel Tan, Rachel A, LingZhen, Wesley, Vikesh, JunJie, Jiayang, Pamela, Stephanie and the many others. On the 10th October 2008, it was a day a dread yet a day of excitement. For those of us who have been with this school since the days of Primary 1, we felt the pains of never coming back again, of missing this place, of singing the School Song for the last time ever. I cried when I sang that song. The song had meant a lot. For 11years, damn, thats the song I've known for a long time. Many asked, ' What was there to cry about?' . So I asked myself this question. My answers were found when we all, 5a and 5b gave the teachers 3cheers. To the front of me was my teachers who have guided me through my Secondary school life. To my left, my friends that made me feel homely and welcomed and loved. To my right was my Primary school. Tears indeed rolled down my eyes. I seeked solace in my own heart, asking, Will I really miss this place? I grew up in this place. 3quarters of my time was spent in Tampines, half my days everyday was spent in that place. Indeed I WILL miss this place. After watching HighSchoolMusical3:SeniorYear, I wondered to myself, I've long wanted to leave this place and I have finally did. Somehow I remembered a saying in that show. You might be ready to say GoodBye to that school, however that schoo isn't ready to say GoodBye to you afterall. Indeed it is true. I remember I had a walk on the second floors on the way to the toilet. 7am in the morning, i walked past the classrooms. I reminisced the times we played our hearts out, had lessons, friends being made in Sec1 and 2. I went up to the 3rd floor and I remembered 3c. One of my best years I will always remember. 1st and 4th floors brought back memories of 4d. Pioneer ThroughTrain class of SHSS, i remembered when all of us shuddered to think we will retain because of the untimely criteria of promotion. Then at the 4th floor where all of this year, 2008, came flowing back to me as if it was just yesterday. I missed everything.
At the start of the year, I blogged that this year will be a special year, a phenomenal year. Indeed it has been. The sacrifices, the heartbreaks the winnings. It has been 5years in SHSS. How to forget everything in such a short time? I then remembered that few people commented that the school's graduation was not much. However I beg to differ. For those who have been under St. Hilda's School for 11years, it was heartwrenching to see this day come. It was hard to come to terms with it. After 10 October 2008, we have officially become adults, young adults. I asked many questions about my time in SHS. Did I enjoy it? Do I miss it? Will I remember this place? I can answer you this questions - Yes I will. Till the day I leave this world, for all of my days in this world, I will remember forever my Alma Mater, St. Hilda's.

·Peace™·
Cos' ONCE A HILDAN!ALWAYS A HILDAN!

Emotional turmoil...

It has been..somewhat 2 and a half months since i visited this place.. I call it a place as this is where my feelings come true. There are no lies, no secrecy, no gossips and no immorality. I must be dreaming if ever there is such a world come true. You must think i sound girlish but.. I'm so damn serious. If you felt for me, something at the very least, why can't you give us a try? You have never entered love though you had occasional crushes. But if feelings are mutual and maturing, why can't it progress? I sensed anxiety and surprise. 8months and it still don't work and i believe i don't deserve it. You must have sensed the signals or else you would not even know that it is merely more than a crush. What more can a guy do to, other than impressing, get the girl to understand love, accept it, embrace it with willingness. You must have seen many failures of love but why not try it yourself? I just pray and hope i'm not just a 'very good friend'. I've done things out of the ordinary. I never picked up the courage to ask a girl out on a movie with other friends, make friends with her nor help her find stuff where she is in need nor ask a girl for a stayover at my place nor giving you a ride home late in the night even though my house comes first nor have i ever gone crazy over a girl before. It has been 8months since we knew each other. You couldn't make it when the Brothers of SA and alfred celebrated my birthday but your birthday is somehow etched in my mind. It has been out of this world whenever we are close.. Remember that walk down the beach when i proposed to walk you home? I thought there was an unmistakable sign for both us. You could feel it and i could feel it. Life goes on but will my desire in you last? I don't know the future nor do i bother about the past though the present shows danger...

Let nature take its course..

·Peace™·
Cos' I can't take it anymore...-o-''

Why So Serious? =)

After watching the Dark Knight.. i have come to agree with the Joker. I know he is a psychopathic motherfucking free-killing piece of joke that kills people for fun.. He shows how manipulative he can be.. turning the best of people and turning and twisting them and easily make them worst. He showed that even heros fall from grace.. And best of all...

Why So Serious, Son? Lets put a Smile...on that face..

If BatMan is the Vigilante everyone wants to be in their lives..why not put yourself in the Joker's shoes? He manipulates people..making everyone kill each other. But he shows that everyone is always so Serious..He's just trying to put a smile to their faces. He shows us that money is not everything..But your love for the people you love and hate.. that is everything...


·Peace™·
Cos' Why So Serious?

BAKA NACHIM!!

Hello hello. First of all, i wanna wish Selena Ng, james and shaun a HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!haha.celebrating James's birthday was crazily fun..imagine you are the one always shooting jokes about someone and suddenly..you find yourself tied up and bound to the tables and people finally taking revenge while your are helpless?HAH that totally happened!!!dang James..you better appreciate that shirt swee and i bought for you!haha. now now..imagine again..class 5a soccer team : Nicholas(GK); Wesley,Zul,WeiChin,Dinesh(Def);WeiZhi,Izzat,Vind(Mf);Mark,Marcus,Shaun(Striker). What the FUCK right?haha its a damn good team!!BRING IT ON!!hmm if only we can stick it around longer..we can further develop and beat other teams..LOL!!
P.S : Selena..i SHOULD be getting your jacket soon..so DON'T WORRY!heh

·Peace™·
Cos' my head loves it..

White Chocolate Dreams..

aight its been years since i last wrote something in here.so here it goes..

soccer yesterday..DAMN!jason's boots aren't that bad..but the field was off.hah we lost though. many things happened on the field. had few moments myself but didn't really have much to remember other than being mega physical and quick thinking/footed. really tiring match. but i think..from what the rest said..this game was much much much better than the last time they met..hah.
hmm i'm damn effing bored. school was quite ok.talked a lot today.didn't study much.DAMN!haha.
ahh bored..

·Peace™·
Cos' its getting to me..

Soccer = Sailing?

NO MORE SAILING!ITS SOCCER FOR NOW!yes yes.haha.the plummer is away with junhao and elizabeth. so yea..time to slack off sailing for a bit at least! haha. anyways yesterday was a real feel good time with james's church people.not bad. some event and a "restaurant" called MusicInMyBackYard.cool eh?fine dining style.not that much but with the gigs..it was really cool.bit of chilling around was not bad either.then..
Soccer today.no at first was floorball?man i tell you..floorball takes the breath away from you.LITERALLY!!haha 10mins of playing was enough to make me wanna sit down and not do anything for awhile.!! anyways after that was field soccer. WARNING! : Those that do not have field boots and wanna play field soccer,GET FIELD BOOTS!if not you will truly suffer. haha seriously..even my tough Nike boots cant take the tough wet conditions.hmm next week its a match at Damai Secondary's field.Imagine this team:(Somenamesnotincorrectspelling)
Jacobson,Weijie,Kenneth,Darryl,Shaun,Peng,James,Me,Ratner,Timothy,Ben.WHOA!not bad eh?we shall see next week then..now that i have field boots.heh..

·Peace™·
Cos' my head needs it!

Nachims!!

hey sup you Nachims!! haha i tell you the laser squad is so full of crap nowadays. how fun can it get?even in gym..julian our gym coach is getting to us now..joining in with the laughter and all.hah!anyways last few days has been a bore..nothing to do other than spamming DotA. today though..played pool with couple of friends IN THE MORNING!gosh at 10.then tuition to like 5 or something.thought i saw xiaoxuan but didnt bother.saw selena though..pool at some 8.50pm again and heh..saw xiaoxuan again.LOL!ahh pool with james kenneth Peng ratner and nick was really fun..haha.they are Seriously Funny.and i literally mean 2 words separately.LOL!played this really funky game called Elimination. something bout choosing 2 pool balls as your "Life". ahh its difficult explaining la. heh anyways today was complete..JUST that i needa do homework.DANG!!!



Lets take a walk on the walls..

It could be fun ^^



·Peace™·

Cos' its in the atmosphere!!

HAH!

aight aight.back from hongkong since 3rdjune. heh. spent like thousands on clothes PSP!! shoes and FOOD!lol madness spending there. but anyways its back to singapore and FUCK!sailing again.haha from wednesday till like tomrrow.Singapore Laser Trophy.here is my score..: 10,10,13,6,21,4,22,10,17 = 8th overall on 70pts with 2discards. OMG! wtf right?heh actually its kinda lousy but 8th still is kinda good. just that now no more sengleong and maxi sailing, bit off the downside.but still there is colin cheng and junhao.hah.anyways..IM BACK!haha and yea..ITS TIME TO STUDY!!haha

If it was meant to be..it will be. But if it was never meant to be, we should let it be and never force it.

Its just something crossing my mind.no more of this rubbish for me.it has taken some 99% of brain strength.lets put the energy to better use then..

TO SAILING AND STUDYING till the end of year =))

·Peace™·
Cos' im embracing it..

Bon Voyage!!!!!!!

Hmm..guess what? I HAVE NEW SOCCER BOOTS!heh Nike Mercurial Red. shiok la. anyways been hanging out alot with James this past few days.Last friday played lan, Monday Chinese Os then soccer THEN pool, Tuesday went Marina Square with James and Shaun and today..Thursday went home together, him after gym me after soccer THEN pool again.dang.close buds eh?haha



What I just realised was that everything was gone and might never ever come back..



Slow songs are making me REALLY emo nowadays. not much of an effect on me though but whoa..it somehow opened up my eyes. 1 eye told me that the world is still a long way to go for me and that girls will be aplenty, telling me to take my time and set my priorities right. Other eye told me that without either of them, my life would somehow still be incomplete and life would be meaningless. how contrasting this 2 eyes have allowed me to see eh?unbelievable..



A girl like you is impossible to find..impossible to find..



haizz..how i wish i was just a dick that no girl would fancy and thus me not fancying any girl..a guy's ultimate question would be : Is a girl REALLY that IMPORTANT in a guy's life that has barely started 16 to 18 years ago?Some would say time is nothing..i would say..I don't give a fuck.Sometimes it really breaks one's heart..sometimes its really soothing to one's heart..mine is definitely hurting and breaking, however silently and sweetly and demonicly, stifling out one's pain seems easy on the front, but deep down inside..IT STILL FUCKING HURTS!





One day we seemed like strangers, the next we were lovers, the next..it is undeniable yet manipulating..



·Peace™·

Cos' i'm feeling it..

Interesting..

It has been a torrid few weeks yet it has also been a good week.been talking to her recently..but yea catching up on lost time seems to be really great.to me..its better than nothing.15months passed quickly but we somehow didn't seem to be apart.not only has this happened..made at least a new soccer group in qizhi xinggui alfred gladwin and co. .apart from izzat shaun james wes and mark the others..new group i can play soccer with.why it has been a torrid week?heh got sick..stomach flu then bad results.getting zero for SS is no fun..failing Amath is crap and science..OMG just failed!!hah but yea passed 3 failed 3.parents are asked to see teachers on last day..dang.
Life has been a bit of a bore..what with no PSP and less outings cos chinese Os are near it has been terrible.going back to DotA is now back but shits..com is running out of life!!haha.whenever wc3 is on com loses more power..haiz.lucky upon knowing this girl called wanling and the continuance hanging out with james ben shaun and nick still does a great deal of fun.
Perhaps he is right..that james.why not try again for her at the end of this year?one thing he is definitely right though and that is to wait and not rush into things..2 girls 2 minds.1 seems to be waiting for me to admit my likings for her while another seems to be hoping i prove the world wrong by doing miracles at Os..im really vexxed and perplexed about the things im in..
All i can say for now is to wait and study the FUCK outta my brains.only a few more months separate us and freedom.when i lost my psp..i thought of it as a positive..remember what jerb said?think the negatives into positives.think of alternatives..isn't it the catchy phrase of 'Look on the brightside' ?hopefully i can turn the negatives into positives..
i really hope so..

Things to look forward for :-
1. Chinese Os
2. HongKong Trip
3. Movie Marathon
4. Laser Regatta
5. Help out at NSC from 11th-15th june.
6. Remedials( HAH! )
7. 'O' Levels!

Epitaph..

ahh well.there goes my psp.FUCK!haiz..no mood to blog.wtf..

ily

·Peace™·
Cos' im missing my PSP

Life as we know it..

HAH! who said it was a Barcelona-Liverpool final?turns out my words were true : ManUtd v Chelsea on the 21st May.BRILLIANT!

anyways life has been a bore.
what with exams and all..
the place i study at now reminds me of the times..
but the place where i take a bus home reminds me of another thing..
what is going on with me?!
I'm supposed to think of exams..
but somehow those just appeared..
absurd?nah..pure coincidence?nah..
This is Blasphemy of one's mind..

I miss that lost one..
I love that elusive one..

·Peace™·
Cos' its not easy stress..

Sensations!

Barcelona vs Manchester Utd
Liverpool vs Chelsea

Ready football fans?the games of the season are upon us..WOOTS!

Been long since i have come back here.
Been long as well since you were last mentioned.
Been long since i last thought about you.
Hmmm..
Fuck it..

·Peace™·
Cos' i'm loving the piano again..

What a joke!

school was utterly boring i guess.PE was the fun part..PLAYED DODGEBALL!haha.long time since played that game..so yea.dodged like what seemed to be a million balls..LOL!the day passed rather boringly..as today had napfa..shaun me james ben jerrold and nick sat at a table and played TRUTH!started out when i randomly spinned that H2O bottle.HAH!though the bottle pointed mostly to jerrold and james more than often..the juicier answers were actually from just ME!wtf right?all those retarded questions asked.URGH!then came napfa..chiong-ed stations like mad!haha.here are my retard results.
Chin-Ups : 2 [just passed]
Sit-ups : 50 [A]
Shuttle Run : 9.85sec [A]
Sit-and-Reach : 43 [B]
SBJ : FAILED!
with that..i fail everything.FUCK!but actually..its ok i guess.happy with the rest already..good enough for even a silver.aye.who cares?only the army does..napfa was ending..tried to get some sec2 girl's number but well.FAILED!haha. good try i guess.haha.soccer after that..was bit frustrated..but well..everyone has their days..

Talking and getting asked about you made me feel..
numb.
I don't know but somehow memories of us just came flooding back.
Irresistable?Self-denial?
I don't know.
Fuck.

·Peace™·
Cos' my head is bursting..

Praise the Lord for what happened today..

aights today started out really retarded.woke at 8.30am and reache SAFchangi at 9.45am.waste of time initially..imagine yourself waking up that early in thr morning and find yourself out at sea just drifting around lazily to wait for the wind to come..ARGH!wtf right?yesterday was already that dumb and i came in 10th.today was no better.wtf can't they just raise the APflag?haiz.one retarded thing led to another retarded thing..the officials started another race..condemned myself to 22nd.WTF!!hahha.top 6 takes the prize and i thought if the wind continues like this..i was goner..what really happened next was really thanks to the Lord God up there..AMEN!the wind came plus a FUCKING good start meant that i felt my authority stamped on the course..though i lost a bit of nerve at the end of the race..i finished 5th..far better than my other 2 though i could have done better.last race was really..just out of the blue.2nd all the way behind junhao and didn't lose any nerve..so yea..came back sweating over whether i would get a prize cos' lionel has 16pts and i knew there were 3 others; uncle bortsnar quek and junhao in front of me already.in the i finished 6th and I GOT A PRIZE AFTER SOO LONG!shane finished 7th on 18pts..so this was how the top7 stood;

1. Lo Jun Hao 6pts
2. Vladimir Bortsnar 8pts.
3. Quek Zhen Hao 10pts
4. Lionel Yeo 16pts
5. Stanley Chan 17pts
6. Marcus Heng 17pts :):):):)

really wanna thank God for just giving me confidence.AMEN!
School tomorrow.ARGH!

·Peace™·
Cos' the drought has FINALLY ended..

It's all in the HEAD!

sailing today.regatta at safchangi.SUPER boring.went out with the norm this days like james swee lin and me.funky huh..its always plus another person.LOL!dang.don't know what to write about.oh ya..WATCH STREETKINGS!fuck fuckity fuck fuck and chitty chitty bang bang..haha.

I'm getting my senses back.
For which..I don't know..
Someone has to help me..
I plead I beg I implore..
Haiz...*o*

·Peace™·
Cos' i'm somehow in need of it..

Once in a lifetime..

lets see..

3rd April;
school was quite endearing as usual.slackest day of the week every week!P.E was stupid. shuttle run became slower.sit-ups became faster.sbj continues to suck.chin-ups becoming better.LOL!anyways soccer after school.probably a team to beat : Shameer[Gk], Aravindh, Izzat, Shaun[Defenders], Ben[Holding mid], Dayson and me attackers.we were seriously crashing the other team to shreds but when certain individuals came in..the game turned and dominance in midfield just fell.i scored 1 while dayson got a hat-trick. match ended 4-4!!dang. overall it was a really good game other than getting kicked twice in the face. tuition after that so yea..that was much..

4th April;
aight.school was quite ok but the after was funky.IMPRESSIONS9!haha..met Lindis at eunos.was bit late and cos of that i had to pay for all her expenses.haiz.james wanted to meet me first but somehow..when he reached already..he left..leaving Lindis and i wondering.decided to meet with the other group of ben shaun angeline izzat nick and nadya.talked and laughed a bit during the ride.heres the shit.at this moment..james was planning a prank session on me.few of them with me already knew bout the prank.james was near kenny roger's so we went there to meet him and his girl.i thought his girl was some girl called victoria, 18.turned out it was...swee min.OMMFG!i was like wtf?shocked stunned flabberghasted to the ultimate.i was like fuck it man..thank God that Lindis told me someone is planning to take a picture of my face.managed to cover my face expressions.through and through..wasn't that bad.managed to talk up a bit.as i have said..its been weeks since we last talked.anyway we all rushed down to SCH.was kinda 'late' but was not.took a bit of photos before and after.the band was quite ok but i would have to say the alumni was way way way better.well when batches change..the grade of performance will change.after the concert we stuck around taking photos.haha..james ben and i were really gay at one pic. took mrt down to city hall before deciding where to go..somehow the group became 2.haha.in the only 4 of us went for movie..james me sweemin and lindis.watched untraceable.SADISTIC SHOW!sat mac after getting high for awhile.haha.left at round 4.40am like that..made it home at 5++.yawns..oh and i found a horrifying truth.

5th April;
woke up at 9 so yea..4hours of sleep.AHHHHHHHH!went to nick's house for some project advert. fucking retarded. after that sailing.got pwned when i sailed damian's radial.pwned back when i sailed back my full rig.then damian had to bust to boat.FUCK!dinner then home..slept for long....

6th April;
woke at initially but saw sweemin's sms to at the same time asked if she could tell suting that i would not be able to make it for this 2 sundays.tuition then went to NSC to repair my boat with uncle Edwin's help. reached home at 4++ then went out at 5.30 to meet shane and damian at plaza sing. .watched a play called Lift which talked of Singaporean's way of life in its current system.interesting and cool.haha..dinner at mos burger.trained home with damian and yea..not much..slept straight away..manutd drew 2-2 but well still 3pts clear.

7th April;
dumb day..spent all of E.math and chinese together with lindis. few people gave me looks so yea.LOL.had private talks with james and lindis during chinese as well. haiz..hard to believe but easy to make the wrong move. and now im going for training..CIAO!


'A belief will not change a fact,' James Porter.
Is it really true?If it is..
Show ME a sign..

·Peace™·
Cos' i'm feeling it..

Windowshopper..

school was disastrous today. quarrelled with that person, suan-ed by the other person.haha but after that, was quite fun all the way.went for lunch with izzat shaun james ben nick and other of james's friend. made fun of shaun all the way cos he managed to attract another girl.!!.prank all the way.went to tm with shaun ben and izzat to find shaun's shirt.walked walked all the way, not buying anything. only ben bought shades.!!met up with nadya kanthes zena and nisa.in the end we went to Sub to try out all kinds of shirt.i bought 1 shirt for 70bucks!kanthes managed to get her cardigan for 40bucks cos of some funky promotion. LOL. in the end shaun didn't get a shirt.he went all the way back to freshbox to buy his shirt.LOL. totally funky day.just trying on all those shirts. haha.somehow..friday seems to be coming sooner than i thought.DAMN!still haven't gotten my jeans.but dunno leh..skinnies certainly looked fine with that shirt.LOL..dunno la..all in all..what a fine day to save me from struggles.

·Peace™·
Cos' i'm finally getting some..

Me soo..

today was a torrid day.headache all the way in class.causing a mental strain on me.ARGH!!anyways passed chem again!should have done better but well i was not that good with that written part.math lesson was interesting.wesley and claudia still trying to squeeze answers out of izzat and me.dunno bout what anyway.went for dental after school and got my teeth even-ed out a bit.gym after that.WOOTS! finished in an hour.plus ab work, finished all in 80mins.ran a bit for round 10mins so its 90mins overall!dang.crazy me.LMAO though.haha.and now on the computer, i just found out something totally screwed up.FACEBOOK DISABLED MY ACCOUNT!have no idea why they disabled but dang.there goes my facebook.cant create another cos they also disabled my e-mail.F***!!
Hope it rains tonight.
If she doesn't get a ticket, be sure to know..
That i would be FUCKING PISSED.
I would make sure you hate me..
Even at your death bed,
I would never let you forget my hate,
A satanic hate of mine towards you.

Siansation!!

haha.been long since i came here again but then again.nothing whatsoever happened.

Its been weeks since we last talked.
Yet a hearing that you asked about my sudden disappearance.
Means nothing apparently right?
Felt like heaven above to me.
Fuck you marcus.Its near impossible.
Maybe i should just concentrate on other stuff.
Thinking too much never helps.
I shall aim for surprising Os results.
Can i start afresh from here?
By God i pray that i can.
Having dreams is one thing but mine doesn't comfort me.
It wrecks me.Tortures me.
The way you made me feel,
I never felt so real.
Nobody might have read this page before.
To hell with that.
This page is for my thoughts.
Hate it?then leave.
Not asking for sympathies.
I just want that special one to know..
Please give me a chance again.
May not be soon, may not be later.
Friday might be a special day, it might not.
[2peoplemakingmyheartstop]

·Peace™·
Cos' you make me breathless

Impressions?

13 confirmed tickets for Impressions9.cool.large. freaking bored now.
Eminem^^

Peace™..

Hanging in a daze..

One may be a fantasy. The other might be reality.
All I know is that few months ago, I lived a fantasy in reality with you.
Short-lived but mesmorising, I admit now i was never ready.
Both of you came at the back of a downfall.
Both picked me up to help me move on.
One is slowly leaving me, The other is seemingly coming closer.
What am i feeling? I'm numb.
Impressions9 can turn out pretty, can turn out bad.
I'm sure you didn't accept my asking of you to come along just because I'm paying your ticket.
I'm sure there is more than it meets the eye.
I might be thinking wrongly, might be right.
I'm sorry. My bad.


Peace™..
Cos' i can't feel shit..

Party like a rockstar..

dang..been long since i last came here..this is how it goes.

20th ;
Angeline's birthday!hahahaha.was quite dumb but yea.school was boring but lunch with james and shaun was always hilarious.tuition-ed early.went down to see what i could get for angeline.somehow met damian while crossing the road.then mike called me.both asking me simultaneously whether i wanna go visit nick who has a torn ligament.OUCHZ!so damian and i walked around Parkway and at topshop.no nice clothes to fancy about.went back up to perlini silver and met jon and wilbur.funnily met ching, at perlini silver!managed to get a deal.1 set comprising of a necklace and bracelet = 30bucks.normal price was 50..managed to cut down.LOL.after nick's house we decided on lan.my imbal luna 9-0.!!ahahah.then that was mostly all.was in my uniform all the way.

21th ;
lunch at 1.30pm with sis and mom.went to some dimsum restaurant at town area.rushed bit for church.only jianguang and suting were there.she was there as well but did not get the chance to talk.drama was really cool!haha.GOOD FRIDAY!immediately chiong-ed down to airport to welcome back the girls who came back from Laser Radial Worlds.been months since i last saw them.talked abit till junhao and i got bored and started djmax-ing.dinner with collin and jon before heading home.james called if i wanna go pool and out again.headed home at like 3.30am.LOL!

22th;
SAILING!haha.short affair but well.Cat. 1 was super obvious.storm coming off Changi, Town and batam was coming real fast so we were called to go back.djmax-ed a bit with junhao before going home to do a bit of 'work'.met damian at 10.45pm..apparently going dxo where an underage party was going on.met mike at entrance but well.found out was cancelled.police all over so we decided to get out fast.taxi-ed to clarke quay where we chanced out on Arena.went in with ease though.went in and damian got drinks.clearly he got the wrong ones for mike as mike was hell drunk.dancefloor was packed and WOOTS!2 girls were just tripping out with us!mike and i grinded the shit out of them but..damian did the wrong thing at the wrong time [dont blame you mate.]HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!grinded the prettier one more but when the shorter and much more chio one came to me..grinded like i never grinded shit!sad they ran off..thought they were there for the taking already but well..grinding was the best we could get out of those 2 chicks.damian was much more mesmorised by the chick that sold us tickets and was dancing on the stage during the freestyle.DANG!could have got my 17y/o ass a hot chick that was surely older than me!hahah



Seeing you just make me squirm in my seat.
DANG!
Those 2 chicks..:):):):):):)::))
Peace™..
Cos' my brain is high on alcohol..

Masks...

IM DOING FACIAL NOW!!hahahahah.my face is in seriously tearing condition.had to do something so facial is the one that came to mind.hahahahha.damn dumb.anyway back to school.hahhaha.so fast tests are sprining up from everywhere.LOL

Man have masks.the one that they wear every day may not be the mask that they wear to other places.Some say man have 2 faces. the happy and angry one.Some say man has more than 2 faces.however they say these faces appear deep deep inside man.they are the lying, loving, scheming, struggling, many!i say man only has 1 mask.that is the mask they wear to face everyone everyday.it can be moulded.too many masking can cause severe self-consciousness, self-denial, confusion among themself.so i ask..Whats your first mask of the day?

A mask is the door to Man's softness and hardness.
1. Her touch touched me deep inside all of a sudden.
2. Her drifting into my mind has caused me sufferings yet happiness.
3. Her message was enough to make me smile from a boring day.

DAMN!?
Peace™...
Cos' my brain needs it..

Are you ready to STEP UP!

aights..Briana Evigan is HOTHTOHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!haha.the way she danced..the way she looked.DAMN!chiong-ed down with jon to lido to queue up while the rest were taking their time.jon me jehian damian wilbur shane lionel and max went to watch.should have been more but well.IT WAS FUN!hahahah.really funny.from looking to chicks to entertaining a crazy guy on the train.thanks to wilbur.
hahahaha.anyways..at the bus-stop at eunos.i stood at exactly the same spot when she and i first took train and bus together from town.then on the bus155, i sat at exactly the same spot where she and i would go home together to my house.2 different spots. 2 different girls.how great can that be to change my complexion on the fun-filled day to a emo walk home.tomorrow is the first day of school.AHHHH!!!!



Congrats Junhao for going to YouthWorlds.

BUY ME THE GERMAN JERSEY!hahah.

See you Scott next year where it will just be you and me.

49er?



Peace™..

Cos i need it to forget the both of them..

HOTCUTEHOTCUTE!

ok...I'M GOING CRAZY OVER CAMILLA BELLE!hahah ok shits..SHUT UP MARCUS!watch 10,000B.C. amazing show which stars a good looking steven straits and a hot+cute camilla belle.haha.retarded huh?after movie wilbur and i were talking to damien bout how of a pussy he was to a girl.let me ask you:what would you do when a girl u have a liking for have an eye connection with you?would you..quickly turn away and worse of all look down on the ground. or just take a chance to greet her silently through ' saying ' hi?LOL!

today sailing was again..subdued so we were not amused by the putting up of AP flag.haiz..justin played my PSP till it was out of batt..sherms one as well.in betweens were Cat. 1 warnings. worse part was when they asked the 420s Hobies Lasers and Bytes to stand-by to launch.LOL.we made a mad rush out to rig but guess what?it rained!AGAIN!hahaha.so we just rushed back to shelter and back to cards.hahahaha.bridge-ed like crazy for the past 2 days.joanne's iTouch just making me so freaking jealous!!!but i have my PSP and i'm thankful for that!hahaha.stupid sailing has taken up 2 days of my hols.AHHH!yet no sailing done.NICE!aights..back to 'emo-ing'.haha..few songs that just make me think of her..2 of them la.=.=""


·Peace™·
Cos i freaking need to watch D-GRAYMAN!

TIRED!!!

7-8th...
NIGHT CYCLING!haha.before that was dumb parents-teachers-meeting.night cycling was..fun?but duh..freaking tiring!my team was Jean rachel don aaron james ben alfred and me.haha not that bad already since we were the only team to have girls in the team and finished 3rd.see..cycled from bedok reservouir to bedok town park to kembangan to siglap connector to east coast park to changi village.DANG!lucky was not intense cycling if not i would be left with just skin and bones.saw her along the way and she asked me a question.. ' marcus you know what is this ''sweeties'' thing? ' LOL ROFLMAO!!but yea..i don't even know what in the world is that!!cycled and cycled and onto changi road.sickest longest and shittest stretch of roads.was a never ending ride..so long that james ben and i kept singing no matter how bad we sounded.found out rachel was the granddaughter of one of the old lady that stays in the same lane as me and that she knows and has seen me before.=.=".we finally ended at 5.48am.the exact time when i saw my phone.chiong-ed to the nasi lemak stall for FOOD!!!haha.lay around trying to get some sleep but ben just kept harassing me with my phone.photos and after that home!haha finally..took bus with james aaron and don.dropped off at james's busstop and i cabbed home.SLEPT ALL THE WAY to 12.45pm.KAOZ!and i had to go sailing.zz..dinner at cafe iguana with sis and mom then after that home!though man utd lost..ITS OK!THE CHAMPS LEAGUE WILL BE OURS!


this thing..a phenomena..keeps cropping up my head.let me ask you a simple question: Do you like if you find out your 'friend' only speaks to you when they are in need of help or in need of company cos he/she is lonely?think about it..even if you have never felt it, maybe in some ways done the same to others?i know i have but i always try to make amends.and i am feeling that someone is doing that to me right now.aights..so what if we have only known each other for barely 3months?so what if i expressed my likings for you by sending you flowers and asking you out on Valentine's day?can't we just be friends that speak to each other normally and not avoid each other with weird glances?when i was cycling on the long stretch of changi road..i looked back at the times you actually talked to me or communicated through other kinds of communication.first one was facebook.you asked if i knew anybody who could do up your room.then you asked if you could join our group when we had steamboat cos you didn't really like it there.then during the race, you asked if i knew what was that word mean or where you could find it.i said i didn't know and scoffed off.then normally you had no one to go back with and you always asked if we could go back together..but no..you had company then and didn't even ask me at all.WOW!once again i'm not being sensitive but it is seriously fucked up if you do that to someone.FUCKED UP is the phrase to describe it.Eminem once said ; If you've got nothing nice to say then fucking don't say anything.I say ; Was i just someone you thought could use for help and company when you were in need of help and company?if i was..then i'm a fucker for liking you.then i'm a fucker and a sucker for you.i blame myself cos it was a fucking wishful thinking on my part.if you ever read through this..take some time to reflect..


·Peace™·
Cos them motherfuckers need it.

LOL!!

aights just finished DotA-ing with wilson louis and few others.been bout 2 months since i touched DotA.haha Luna 12-1 was gay again.though bit of configuration to it made it difficult to kill..but well its Luna!haha. Life seems really really bored.Maybe cos im missing her?or is it the undercurrent stress of Os and the coming Singapore Youth?you never know.but one 1 thing i know is that i miss her.who ever is reading this..i need help on this but i don't know even what kinda help i need. I wish someone could just fucking make me wake up from this ' Fantasy ' which Dinesh calls it, or is it the reality im really not wanting to face?hmmm..give me a sign.

·Peace™·
Cos' the harsh reality is catching up...

There is soo many things...

·**Sometimes I wish I could save you And there’s so many things that I want you to know I won’t give up til it’s over If it takes you forever I want you to know.
·**If you fall, stumble down I’ll pick you up off the ground If you lose faith in you I’ll give you strength to pull through Tell me you won’t give up Cause I’ll be waiting if you fall you know I’ll be there for you.

I feel really really sick of myself?we havent communicated for more than a week.I'm tearing up myself inside.No one to confide in.Tearing up heart to feel you.I'm not being desparate, neither am I being pathetic, why can't you just be somewhere else in my head?

·Peace™·
Cos' I fucking need it.

Of the chains..

1st March 2008;
supposed to sail but in the end..uncle edwin helped me to touch up my boat.Yongqiang made the squad play soccer with Nick's squad.funny affair.scored lots of goals..colin and i just make a good team i guess.haha!after that did bit of gym then pingpong.haha.went town with jon.bought a pair of slippers at Heeren at Four Skins then visiting Sandy at Ed-Hardy.[things there are KAOZ! expensive!]haha.walked walked walked till we got to Wisma. jon and i bought the same shirt from Flesh Imp.SALE!2FOR$35!haha..quite nice bah..then finally met up with Damian Wilbur Shen and watched Charlie Wilson's War.nice show!!haha.after show we walked around till we got from Cine to taka..thought can see her there but most probably she's off already, so well..yup.jon left early and 4 of us sat and walked around till we finally decided to go home..really glad there was an outing cos if there wasn't..would not have known what to do at home since crunchyroll.com has yet to release Episode73 of D-Grayman.LOL.that was all..

2nd March 2008;
Lucky i decided against sailing today and went to work.LOL!IT RAINED!JUST AS I EXPECTED!haha.service was quite nice today..newly at Hall 1, F.I.R was there to perform and pardon me for my suagu-ness..i thought they were a girl band!LOL!haha..tuition after that and the girl in front of which i might be interested in..DANG!hot hot hothot!!!worked till 3.30pm then off to HideOut Cafe to meet up with cell peeps!!!haha.4 cells were there and was really fun!!some fellowship..celebrated wendy's birthday and made wilson dance with her.hahaLOL!!bus-sed home after that and ate crabs with family at geylang there.SHIOK!now watching riddick.ADIOS!!

Mas Selamat!PLEASE SURRENDER YOURSELF!DON'T MAKE US WORRY ANYMORE!
If you were willing to give me chance,though you didn't,
I'm sure we would have had the times of our lives.
Everyone has a choice: I chose to like you.You chose to reject me.
Life is nothing even without talking to you.

·Peace™·

Leap-ing Day...

today is the 29th of feb..lived only once every four years.haha.LOL!
school was quite boring though.chinese remedial then soccer..WOOTS!SCORED 7GOALS!haha.with james izzat shaun jerrold ben nelson aravindh.3c connection there again..haha.Cell at jerb's place today..fellowship with wilson gladwin jerb sandy paul and alfred was a funny affair.haha..sad she was not there today, or rather..better?xD.forget it..haha.super packed day and tired but well..i just wanna..

Thank God for helping me pass my Chemistry test!11 out of 20.though not a good score but still, its a pass!haha.been coming but finally..the wait to pass has ended.chinese written work as well..6/10 for letter and 13/25 for compo, not that bad..coming from someone that utterly hates chinese.my history tests as well..think im the highest?dunno dun care but still doing well in history makes me go easy!haha.really wanna thank God..SERIOUSLY!

Remember a few posts ago..i said im wishing for something good to happen to me?haha though it was a different type 'something good', it turns out that the something good is for my tests results.REALLY ENCOURAGING!haha.PRAISE THE LORD!
still wishing for something else to become better..haiz..:(:(:(!

Faithfulness begets Fruitfulness begets Faith..
3 steps of life we need every day.

Peace™..
Cos' here comes the BOOM!

Dj MaC..

haha..ok kinda addicted to the Dj Max game.been playing it non-stop and have yet to do any freaking work.Nothing whatsoever happened today..just chatting to FangLu for awhile.YAWNS!!aight..adios pussies..!!

Peace™..
Cos' a hurricane is coming..

CHIBAN!

haha.LOL done with D-Grayman!i mean finally watched till where they stop streaming.DANG!episode 71.LENALEE IS IMBAL HOT AND CUTE!
anyway school was quite boring and ARGH!psychology is 9pts..!!so im retaking math.NO CHOICE!CANT COUNT ON MY SCIENCE!

Nobody is meant to be alone.
Life is spent with a partner..
However I'm missing mine...

Peace™..
Cos' life is taking a toll..

Flabberghasted..

since when the fuck did 2 motherfucking yellow flags not warrant a fucking DSQ??how insane!!whats the cause?lets see..
1. Quek Zhen Hao 3pts
2. Shane Ong 9pts
3. Zach Poon 13pts
4. Marcus Heng 13pts
if shane got the fucking DSQ..i would have been on 12pts and 3rd and i would fucking win a prize!_I_=.=""_I_ this is to sailing man..haiz..well it fucking hurts..DUH!adding to the list of the unfortunate events happening to me..i can star in a movie like A Series of Unfortunate Events : By Marcus Heng.ZZ!
Why does everything seem down to me?she seems to be avoiding me already..school life isn't so meaningful..sailing has been fun but during regattas, results are no where near good. friends and family are the only good things to me now..and thats a good thing.God is also a good thing to me.He is someone who can bring happiness once again into this happy-to-sad life. Can't something good just happen to me for once in 2weeks?thats all I'm asking..one motherfucking thing that is good to happen to me.
FUCK!im sounding super emo but well, how else can i go through this torrid time?it isn't easy for one who is attempting certain chances and gets fucked up to the core.

tomorrow is back to school and im not fucking done with my work.ARGH!haha..
Life goes on though it SUCKS!
I'm only asking for something good, whatever it is to happen.
And I'm wishing that she and I could at least remain friends.
Fuck sailing.

Peace™..
For I'm gon create havoc..

What if...

What if it was known i would not go sailing on saturdays..thus me being able to go to cell meetings with e462.What if we had not struck a conversation with each other at our first meeting..would i have been intrigued by you?lets see..been only what..less than 3months since we last known each other..you know that i like you and i know im being a complete retard by telling myself i have a damn chance..NICE!why did all this things..small small events that happened?causing such complications and to the extent that we didn't even said 'Hi' to each other when we actually walked past each other in that rather narrow bridge that connects the door and the living room.You'all can call me crazily intrigued and captivated by this girl..you made me living again..helping me get back certain senses into my initially senseless-body and mind.buying you those flowers certainly meant something..so did asking you out.Seriously,what if..i had never set those eyes of mine upon you?
Some have said my life has been on the up.Some say my life has never had a down.well hear hear!MARCUS IS GOING DOWNHILL ALL OF A SUDDEN!much stuff has happened recently.in school and outside.in school my grades are on a all time low, some screwed up case came up, life is getting rather monotonous in school.outside..lets see.i got ditched, hiking strap is tearing apart, the above in the 1st para[LOL!], sailing.
My mind is certainly going screwed up as well.i cant help my bro who is having some problems in his relationship, i seem to be getting into ways of others.

Life does not end though, a real fact that we humans must go through.
Only God can help us in real times of need.
I need a peace of mind.

Peace™ xD

Surprise surprise!!!

haha..firstly..MANUTD WON 4-0!dang arsenal got their ass whooped real bad at OT.secondly,LIVERPOOL LOST 2-1 AT HOME!well done barnesly!totally deserved it!nicely done there howard!haha.thirdly..mrs calais has let up!she allows me to other work during her period though i must do whatever work she requires me to..LOL!fourth..i haven't been caught..dang..its a matter of time i think but well..no running.fifth, i constantly sailed in 2 strong wind days..legs gonna break apart..but still felt SHIOK!haha.lastly..ITS DINESH'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!haha..happy 17th bro..may all ur endeavours come true.haha..

today school was really subdued..common tests at the first and last periods..totally dreading the results of the tests already!haha but well..i tried.English was crap while Amath was horrible.haha.boring part was chinese.thought sitting at alfred and junjie there would be better..should have thought otherwise and should have sat with james.LOL!after school was dumb as well..weizhi was trying to get answers from that auntie..but she just would not relent!went to library after that and yea..thats that for today i believe..

One joy dispels a hundred cares - Confucius.
Without music, life is a journey through a desert. -Pat Conroy
For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

here are some quotes made by people of wisdom..take them into consideration and put them into aspects of life..for me this 3 quotes totally make sense.

Life goes on no matter what happens.
I failed once, but shall get up again and try.
Can't you just give me a try?
Like i said, without trying, you will never know what the outcome will be..
Please..
With Sincerity..

Peace™

Cut lip..

got myself a cut lip today..bugger elbowed me.NOT A FIGHT!WAS SOCCER!haha finally with my shoes..scoring and playing much much much better.hahah.school was a bore today till that unfortunate incident happened.but well..life goes on?YES!soccer was a cool day for me..didn lose till the last match..totally heated match we had.hmmm.rushed down to riverwalk for combine cg.I WAS THE ONLY GUY!alfred was doing sound system so in e462..i was the only guy!dang..haha..after cg was supper at BK with alfred belinda and sweemin.funny afair by my observations.LOL!the art of listening and not talking much is a good way of jacking people!dang.trained home while belinda took bus.as usual..dropped at eunos with sweemin again..quite quiet i believe.but well..when im there, there is sure laughter round the corner.LMAO!anyways..gonna sleep..eyes this few days super tired..

Quiet Success..
The cut lip is nothing compared to God's power of Love.
If only every day was just like today...

Peace™:)

Misery LOVES ME..

aight..today was supposed to be a day where the air will be filled with love for everybody.however for me,it somehow seemed only misery filling my surrounding air.ditched earlier, i came to school, had to stand coz i forgot to bring my thermometer and my songbook.then my sideburns got caught.bit of suan-ing from mr.chiang.didnt finish SS test coz went back late.was 'disposed' as chairperson.supposedly lost a set of keys for class lock.lost games in P.E. . yea this many things happened to me in a day that is supposed to feel love.RAHHHH!did i just hit a bad patch?or just really that sadded.earlier found out that she has 'criterias' bout the guys she wishes to have.i believe im somehow not there.

What is Pain when there is Love?
But what is Love when you only feel Pain?

That is the irony of life.you think things will just somehow spin your way but it just turns round you and choke you.this is my beef towards life.1 more thing might just go out of my way is the flowers im sending.will it change the situation?or will it just become weirder?dang.totally pissed!

If only I could go to sleep without waking up..
I would then have no need to face the music.
But life would never let you do so till you give your final breath.

Peace™ :(.

Hope?

been days since i came here.haha.either busy or just lazy.anyways..got ditched.yea.LAUGH IF U WANNA!I WOULDN'T HIT YOU!haha.tomorrow is valentine's day..and guess wad..im freaking alone..fag..gay!haha.school was quite ok today.japanese students on exchange to our school were the main attraction.talked up few while 1 really caught my eye.haha..IM NOT HORNY!dang.played blackjack all the way during free periods..was losing initially but well..lady luck was certainly shining on me soon.was losing like some 20bucks but won back and won $3.50 . haha while yong won 25bucks.wesley won 8.mark was banker so you can imagine his face when we finally ended.gonna study ss so yea..piss off marcus!!

I was never alone for God was and is forever with me.
But if she had actually said yes, it would have felt much much better.

Peace™:)

Some games can never be played alone..

soccer cant be played alone.basketball cant be played alone.sports teams always say : there is no I in team.Love is sometimes like a game.yes i may not be old enough to know what love is like, but i can at least say there is no I in Love.it takes 2 hands to clap ; 2 souls and hearts to combine. i am still thinking if the time i ripe and ready for the taking. some say music makes one turned on and when both share the same interest in the same instrument,things may happen. musical instruments should be banned in some areas of life.seriously.even in a duet, there is no I in there.that night i lied there paralytic.not knowing what the hell should i do.OK!STOP BEING EMO!hhahaha
anyway..soccer at 4+ with justinwong ri chris nick zhicao zul jackson.was really really fun.playing with them is always fun..though u get scoldings but still..in a fun way..hahahha.scored 3 today.amazing huh.lost my touch of late.haha..in the end blisters on the soles of my feet..grrr.came home and to starbucks..I SAT A PORSCHE!haha.uncle alvin's.ate at Thai Express since cartel was full.haha.only person lacking was micheal bah.always nick damian wilbur and i.mike has army to deal with..aye..
chinese new year passing so quickly.soon it will be valentine's day.soon it will be civil defence day.soon it will be me becoming a councillor.dang..

passed by simpang bedok today.dunno if that one person is reading this..but all that memory came back when i passed by there.first supper on our half a date.haha LOL

Some games can never be played alone..try it..it sucks.
Peace™:)

how i totally feel..

I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you
Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I hate living without you
Dead wrong to ever doubt you
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore you
Oh how I thirst for you
Oh how I need you
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
Breathing life
Waking up
My eyes
Open up
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I adore you
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I thirst for you
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I adore you
I...
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real...


Fuck this shit.
Peace™:)

...

it seemed awkward the whole time.haiz.but then..what can i have done?=.=life sucked and it totally did.haiz.5 of them stayed over my house.didn sleep till like 6.now i feel if im to ask her to the dumb concert in april..it would totally seem fucked up.LOL.
aye think i should just concentrate on studies first.no relationships i guess.anyway school today was quite retarded.lost 1-0 to izzat on winning11 PSP.sadded.haha.partied all the way.taught them how to play bridge.LOL.finally!anyways at hall, 5a won the champion for noticeboard.great achievement for those who did it.yup.CONGRATS!mrs calais is totally excited we won.haha.
reunion was an average affair.eugene was like the oldest and the norm : just 2 guys at the ' non-adult' table.ahaha.

Happy Chinese New Year anyways.
Peace™:)

Hmmm

aight.chances of me going to the april event seems slim since i cant get a date.LOL!but damn..if only i had the balls to do everything i can within my power, i would surely do it.so here is my piece : if i cant get her you people would not see me there.haha.anyways school was kinda slack.had a talk with mr ng about whether i should retake my E.math.he said i should not retake so that i can concentrate more on science CH and A.math.but well, decided that i should just put in more effort in those 3 but just maintain myself in E.Math.DUN TIRE YOURSELF OUT!ITS CHINESE NEW YEAR!haah..study champ after school again.funny thing was mr wee was our teacher.haha.weird huh.
bought another topman shirt.LOL!im not saying anything but im buying stuff from topman cos i have vouchers from some bank.so my parents are allowing me to buy my stuff there.haha.doing chinese work while watching Heros and also thinking about her.

Thank you God for giving my wisdom.Amen.
Peace™:).

No balls,No guts..

if only i had the guts and the balls, i might have left that house a different person.well i tried what i could to bring her along.aights.met james at sweemin's house coz he was doing up her wall.idiotic james.LOL nvm.between him and i.aye aye aye aye.it was there that i thought i lost myself.but then,james kept bringing me down to earth by disturbing my thoughts.hmmm.but...ALL THE DAMN BUTS KEEP COMING UP!i would just admit it.NO BALLS NO GUTS.if i had those...you never know.kept tempting her to come along e99's reunion dinner.STEAMBOAT!dang but she still doesnt want to.haiz.well..cant force cant i?

i asked this question to alfred:should i chase this seemingly impossible dream?
Should i?or shouldn't i?
i talked of my fears of what my actions might lead to her reactions.
What should i do?
Another surprise birthday celebrations again.for joseph and i.haha.THANKS E99!
Thank you God for all the wonderful people i have met through you.Amen.

Peace™:)

If only...

life was that easy - relationship wise.i just cannot imagine what i would do if im really gonna ask her and what would she do should i even ask.would i scare her off?would she then ignore me leading to the end of even a friendship?aye.trying not to think too much about it.STUDIES FIRST!dang.

Love God.
Cross-country was *blissful* with yonglin.

Peace™:)

DANG!

29th jan:-

haha.aight aight.let me say this : THANKS HIKARU!THANKS SHAUN!THANKS AFRED!THANKS EDWIN!THANKS DARWIN!THANKS PETER!THANKS HANYONG!THANKS JONCHOO!dang.how bout this adding to another day of my birthday.29th jan but they still celebrated for me!haha.afred was too obvious already i guess.i always find it weird when a guy asks a guy for dinner.out of no apparent reason.haha.this out no different.pasta mania was the place.haha.really wanna thanks this peeps.not only they bought me a bag, they still sprang a surprise for me.WOOTS!also wanna thank swee min.though u couldn't make it,haha.and also christine.if you are reading this..YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE SO!haha.

today,30th jan :-

hmmz.quite a fast day today.though school ended at 1.45pm, it was a funfilled day!science prac was a joke.we were all really together into doing the prac.mrs chan somehow disappeared but well.we did our work and thats that!really boring day but well,life goes on

Friends are IMBAL IMPORTANT!i feel really blessed,to be honest.from church,my brothers jonathan jianguang AFRED hikaru shaun darwin peter hanyong edwin richard jonchoo suting kimberly wilma,aye whole of e462 la.haha.ravi ben sweemin wilson weiqiang sandy steph jerblinn brotherEdmund belinda and many more.dang.school there is my set of brothers dinesh weizhi ben weichin james nick shaunloy mark izzat wes yonglin zul aravindh jerome danker jerrold vikesh.
christine claudia angeline racheltan stephanie lingzhen pamela weish baishuang.
thats a lot of friends right?haha.many more friends from sailing and outside, damian shen nick wilbur fen zhen marc lionel colinlim calvin jonchew hong joanne shane junhao eric jiayang ahpui leon jesper.dang...so many!haha
from the 27th to the 28th to the 29th were the best days i had.no doubt.yes it may not have been with either desired ppl but this group more than makes up for it.
yes friends may not be as close as your relatives but ur every day life is surrounded by them.in school im with weizhi weichin mark wes izzat james dinesh ben shaun nick jerrold,sailing i be with damian zhen shen lionel.church i would be with e462 and the SA guys.i play pool with ben.i eat with many of them.i psp with yong and chinkiat.i cards with hikaru shaun and the rest.life revolves friends.outside home they are your family.yes i agree sometimes friends can be horrible to you, but thats life and btw..these peeps im with..we are horrible and serious and fool around with each other.sometimes i think and look back..is having a girlfriend that good?i once had one that revolved 2 more ppl.haha.i now am interested in one that is close to few brothers.somehow i feel friends are your life.i certainly experienced it full blow on 28th and 29th.WOW!Thank God!

PS:
and erm Afred,if you read this,please do not tell anyone elso bout what we talked before hand on the night of 29th jan.hehe.thanks.
Love you people.:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Love you God for giving such a 'family'.

Peace™:)

Special Day has..

FINALLY ARRIVED!WOOTS!haha received the first message from weizhi at exactly 0.00am.hahathen dinesh called also at 0.00am.how nice.if only...yea ok.not going to that part again.now its 10.12pm.another 1hour and 48min till im 17y/o and 1 day old.dang.hahaha.today certainly had a good harvest today.a bag[ afred suting hikaru darwin peter shaun edwin ], wallet by rachel tan.ear studs from weichin and steph, psp from parents and of course. hell lots of punches from mark chinkiat dinesh junjie aravindh ben james vikesh jerome danker.OUCHZ!haha.im ok la.lax..not dying.surely..thanking God for making this day a really special day for me.no doubt the flood of messages from cell group mates - suting and company.THANKS!few other bros like hikaru shaun peter as well.thanks!dang.the day was not only bout the presents and all.im glad that i have many friends around.haha.all around the class.5b.best buds jerome danker amos.hmmm.and also..MUFEES REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY!haha LMAO!.anyways..school was kaoz sianz.apart from the mingling around.lessons were as usual.mr ng somehow gave us 2periods of self-study.but in the end was to counsel certain others about Os results.dang.after school was a fun affair.collected cake from some funky confectionary shop.Dj something something.in the end..birthday celebrations was a noisy affair!mrs chan and mrs calais were there as well since their birthdays in jan as well.LOL.funny to the core.james and others kept trying to rape me all over.fun bah.
hmmm.thank you God for today when i was born.28 jan 08.best day i believe.

17years have passed.if only i could have celebrated with that one special one.or even with the one that i yearn all times.haiz.
Beautiful Savious by PlanetShakers.

Peace™:)

PAIN!

anyways.life sucks initially.my life went into pieces when i found out my results.tmd.c5 and b4.zz haiz but well.least still can retake.cried but well.its at the moment.hmm.thanks you all for the comforts and all.im fine now.moving on with life.think God shown me his care and concerns because the day's night turned out funny.went to TopMan to buy my shirt and bought my PSP Slim.funny right?bought by my mom somemore.hmmmall bought on the same day as getting my results.funny right?hmmm. yesterday was quite ok in school.really emo-ish coz im still thinking of results and..her.thinking wad results she got and wad all my friends got for results.hmm.aye..dinner on friday night but guessed wad was the main event?i smashed my pinkie between the car boot and my finger.PAIN!RAWR!!dang.bleeding like shit but well..im still alive...

and today.worked today.haha at ms choo's. stupid PSP still cannot read the games.FUCK!asking yonglin to help me put in the games already so yea.monday is my birthday already.dang.time is really passing that quickly.janice shares the same birthday as me!hahah.



another Life quote.something that dinesh made me think.

people always ask : Life is always wrong towards me.

i tell you : Life was never wrong.We just do not know the extent of our mistakes or how to amend the wrongs we have done.

Peace™:)

going GAGA!

haha.tomorrow is getting results day.wishing all whoever took Os all the best for results.especially selena cheryl xiaoxuan sweemin wilson weiqiang whole of 5a vikesh abel and everyone else la.haha.so many.anyways school was quite ok.teachers kept coming up with constant reminders that results are coming out tomorrow.ZZ!had E.Math test today.the test proved to be pivotal.i kept thinking, what would my results be?what would i do should my results blahblahblah?the constant question keeps coming up.gosh..God please tide me through this.at least i hope have a subject that i would not need to retake.PLEASE!hmmm.tomorrow is thursday.i day that i would always like.not because it would be one more day to the weekends, but cos its a day where i always had the chance to see someone which my life took a turn.sad it turned out badly coz her family.HMMM..haha.aye aye aye.TOMORROW..TOMORROW..I LOVE YOU..TOMORROW. dang im going crazy.today also proved to be another emo-ish day for me.whole day i thought of her and how i should approach her should i meet her again.then i thought of how she would do in her Os results tomorrow.will she get into her desired school?i really hope so.pool today also proved my mood.haiz.imbal moody today.but chill peeps..i dun throw my temper around.haha.i throw it on the pool table.hmmm.Life is getting a bit sceptical for me.ever since i got to know her.ever since i found that Os result is coming out soon.ever since i found out i may never get the chance to see her again.ever since this ever since that.i need to be spiritual more..i need and ask God to give me more wisdom in my decision making and what im thinking.i have yet to go to Him and ask him.i really wish i can do it so.

once again to all who took Os and are getting results tomorrow..ALL THE BEST!MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH DESIRED RESULTS!!!haha.to 5a as well..should we suffer a setback tomorrow.LETS NOT BE DISCOURAGED!haha,aight aight.wanna sleep early.



All the Best.

Whats done Cannot be Undone,We just have to wish for the Best and Leave it to God.



Peace™.:)

GOING NUTS ALREADY!!

aye aye aye.what is happening to me?totally not thinking straight.school was utter boring today.totally mundane.but math periods are always a fun.though lesson was stifled coz we were just revising,had lots of fun with the calculator though it was kinda retarded.mr ng is cute to the core.LOL(not how he looks,its how he teaches).english period brought about a surprise as well.though the lesson was imbal dry and making many fall asleep.i, of all people was actually awake and doing her work.i really dunno what is going on inside my head.maybe..maybe..LOL.school after that was boring.history test made it worse.haha.after school was like where i belong.went to eat and was sitting with racheltan pamela steph zena and few other guys from our class since weizhi and weichin were with another person.was super bored but since with them, its always funny.LOL.science prac was also quite fun.seeing all the different unknown solutions turn into some interesting colour.sad cannot take a picture of it.DANG!after prac was to class doing up the final touch ups of class decor.hell with it i tell you but now that racheltan pamela and zena came in, everything finally fell into place.if we win,really would be flabberghasted.went to watch angeline do the auditions for the superstar thingy.LMAO!but was nice la.nice voice she has and i dun even realise.sat with her for 1 year last year.LMAO.hmmm.there's that.

i think im going crazy.call me a retard if u like.i really dunno whats gone into my brain though some say i do not have one.am i thinking too much?i think i am..see!OMMFG!im thinking again.zz
sometimes having too many thoughts is like a drug.you keep thinking about it.then go high when start thinking.Life does indeed need us to think but sometimes, we just need to relax that usually overloaded mind.but sometimes..certain things just cannot be forgotten.for example; a girl whom u fell in love(probably) though seeing her just once;O level results are nearing;and certainly other things.these are the things im definitely thinking of every mother fucking day.these thoughts just keeping popping up in my head.that girl whom is of subject,i barely know her.she's like the strong metal core of the moon that is pulling me up and i am not wanting to get myself back down to earth.Os results is another issue.2 subjects and im already pissing in my pants.haiz.what is done cannot be undone already.so why am i fretting and not leave it to God to decide my results since i know i have tried my best.and of other things.why cant i just stop thinking about all other random stuff.thus the phrase - Art of Randomness.
haha.i may be sounding a bit emo-ish but isn't it true?Life keeps u thinking,thats what keeps us alive as well.hmmm.goodness gracious.

Just leave it to God and he will make a way.
Praying for AFRED's health and to his family as well.
For everyone that took Os..all the best for results on Thursday.
hmmmz..

Peace.

Tiring and delusional..

am i seriously getting desperate?zz i think i am.her face her name her voice just cannot get outta my mind.y is that si difficult?is it really love at first sight?or am i just delusional to even think she would wanna be with me?argh..dunno.i have never gone over the board over a girl since the former.haiz.ok relax marcus..pull yourself together.!!tmd.anyways..day passed normally stupid dinesh didnt come school.pangseh me.haiz.but to tell you the truth, the day passed rather quickly.and he just told me he most likely would not be coming tomorrow.nice.how freaking nice.behind is just bored stiff without him.dang.day passed mundanely today as well.went with jerrold to print some photos.7bucks!LOL.managed to bargain a bit haha.after that was off to study champ.really retarded coz the way the teachers went about class was simply..weird.they split us into groups so weichin nick me were with nabila nadia darren and shuying.stupid wesley and pamela all pangseh.zz.we were asked to make a team logo and come out with 3 reasons for the logo.we came with an egg-shaped idea.LOL.was really funny coz weichin and i were talking bout nick being a half-boil egg.haha.guess what was our group name.NOlevels.nice right?since there were peeps taking Ns and Os..y not the name?and guess whose idea was that?MINE!haha.but nadia and nabila did the design for it.class became ultra boring after that.made friends with nadia and nabila in the end.more of nadia anyways.class ended and the team with the best logo designs and group names were out.guess what..WE WON!some more we won coz they liked the name coz of its creativity.the design was also good.hahaha.nicely done team.LOL.was super hungry after the class so nick and i went to eat.met nadia along the way so asked her if she wanted to join us for a bite.LOL.never had a junior agreed to my request!haha.ate and talked all they way thru..haha.how funny.found out she was in the same primary school as me.LOL.1 year younger somemore.

delusion vs desperation vs reality.
have i lost my senses?or did i lose it to her.to be serious.i have never gone crazy over other girls other than my previous.or is it just me being delusionised.
am i being desperate?being suddenly alone has left me being a forlorn figure.but on that particular day this girl came into my realm and have made me go berserk everytime i daydream.
am i lost or do i not want to accept reality?this is not much of a brainer.reality has set me in that i may not be with her again since whe parting of ways.so y cant i just move on?
haiz.dev told me to try it out and ask her to Impressions which is a long way more to go.April 4th.charles told me relax first and see how things go.wilson asked me to try and know her more.dang..Fuck my consciences.Fuck my brain.Fuck my senses.Fuck my emotions.i never knokw what will happen tomorrow.only God knows.studies are becoming tougher.i need to focus more.Os results are getting released real soon.only time will tell my next step towards another level of life.

Help and advise me.
Delusioned?Desperate?Reality?

Here is a quote i made randomly;
Teacher asks, ' why do we need Math in our every day life?'
my answer? ' Life is Calculative. '
Understand where im flowing?

Peace.

Coincidental...or?

Lolitas..been days since i came here.been super super tired so yea.last few days have been really active and weird stuff happened.today is already the 20th.its 8 days to my birthday!see how the combinations work?was thinking randomly after tuition and this came to mind.anyways its also 5 days till Os results are out.haiz.

18th jan -
was kanthes birthday.LOL.how time flies.it already her birthday.day was really boring in school.tuition after school without ben.pangseh-er.was rather boring though.hmm.went to basketball court to look for alfred and junjie.weiqiang gladwin and jonathan were there as well.tired to the core.some more cell meeting at night was really tiring for me.so cell was the fun i tell u.found out wilson was interested in vanessa yang.went thru so many people to get her number.and guess what,he didnt even dare call her.LMAO!met this pretty girl called swee min.haha.same age.stays near my area and yea.more to that later.it was all fun though.started talking to her much after scaring her and other people while watching supernatural.LMAO!movie after cell and guess what.Body19 again.exactly a week after watching with nadya and james.haha.dang,im definitely feeling desperate.so much emotions ran thru me during the show and the taxi ride.should i talk bout it?hmmm.just say im a retard who thinks of weird stuff.she has never had a boyfriend and is wanting to try out.im broken and needs someone to piece me back.haiz.
im just thinking too much or maybe...

19th jan -
was a fanfare.went NSC for some talk by mark robinson.how irritating can it be?the talk was the sailing calender for major regattas in singapore and overseas.the major regatta im aiming for are youth worlds but guess what.its in freaking july!and when is my prelims?august!urgh!there goes my dream or maybe.was supposed to sail since its been long since i sailed.funny thing was,i forgot to bring my sail!left all at home.mom wanted me to sail or at least go out to sea.and i was the opposite,since no sail,sail for?wee wee didnt allow me on his boat so i just decided to call off sailing.so i decided on soccer.WOOTS!was with james church friends.really fun though met 1 or 2 malays that took the game bit too far.sadly i scored only 2 goals the whole time but set up numerous.my type of game now.soccer-ed all the way to 6plus before heading to Blackboard for dinner.along the way met tszkei at james church!hahaha.how nice to see her.ahhh.how fun the day was.

20th jan -
was a early morning sunrise to church.met belinda and 2 others on the train before bumping into richard ravi darwin and garvin at tanah merah.service was really good today.sadly i could not stay long as i had to go for tuition.SAD!:(:(:(:(::(:(:(:(.haiz.wanted to see PSP Slims' after tuition but was raining so came home.super tired now though. gosh.may either game or do work.ADIOS!


Have Faith.
Losing your Faith is like losing God.
Confidence is a virtue.
Losing Confidence is like losing your Confidence in God.

Peace.
Out:)

Emo..

really feeling kinda down though.as much as a ' always-giving-a-smile ' person,that sensitive topic came up again;my other half.let me make this clear - im, FFS, not with anyone.PLS!it was over coming to a month already.not only did it come up once,it came up twice,thrice.urgh.FUCK!haven't u guys any human or sense in you?school was quite boring but managed to stay awake.became quite Emo after the topic was brought up to me.that was the reason why my mind was blank when we were planning for the class boards.sorry, to whoever was present and cannot get anything out of me.anyways..

Responsibilty.it is something that we live by and go by everyday of our lives.this word is always assosciated with leaders like class leader,teachers.anyone that has authority.however it is not only them, the majority of people that are lead by leaders.they have a responsibility as well.responsibility can come in small tasks or big tasks.but all the same.you are entrusted to do something for someone else,it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to accomplish it.in life,it is our responsibility that we do well in life.responsible for those close to you as well.
cant go on anymore.really Emo-ish now.

Can't fully let go.
God please help me.

Art of randomness...

right.the day started on a really wrong note.damn alarm clock rang at 6.05am.KAOZ!was super sleepy still, so i went back to sleep.woke back up at 6.50am!!gosh.woke dad at 6.55am and left the house at what?7.10am.sianded.was actually on time but then,forgot to take my wallet in the end.then ended up late.haiz.day went fairly alright.was super random in telling dinesh that id whoever says a vulgarity, that person has to slap himself once for every word.he has been slapping himself for the whole day while i only did once.LOL!lame i know but well,random-ness comes into place when you are hell bored.WATCHING HEROS!watch it.nice.lazy to watch on buffer webbies so catching it on tv.haiz.shane sent me a new song.nice yet emo.LOL!

Promise.How big is this word?lets see..on the scale of 1 to 10, the rating of this word is 11/10.no kidding!what is the definition of this word, Promise. it means that when someone asks you for a favour and u take it willingly.that is a promise.like for example, my friend asks me for help in homework and i agree to it.yup.however,the word is used in more ways than just this.Boy-Girl Relationships for example.the guy gives his promise that he will not lust after any girl but his girlfriend alone.but then somehow.he wants to break up because he found another girl.that is a promise broken.When a Promise is broken, the victim can feel many hurt.whether you are a girl in broken relationship or in a job where u were promised of a promotion or whatever that involves the word Promise.the victim can feel cheated.fooled.desecrated.thus going into depression because that promise made is broken.Promise is like a living thing.once broken,it is dead.easy to make a promise yet easy destroy it.Life is sometimes,full of Promises.Your parents promised you to buy a PSPSlim depending on school results.You promised your girlfriend or boyfriend that you love no one but them.A job interviewer promised to call you back regarding a job application yet that call never came.It is a word that is easily made yet sometimes difficult to carry out.Never joke about a promise for it can create hurt unintended.Promise is a big word used by small man to cheat their way to personal gain.but Promise is a big word used by big man that manipulate situations to help needy and less-fortunate people.

Promise is no doubt big, but even bigger when made to God.
Life is full of ups and downs, but Promise yourself that no matter how down you are,always head up.
Loving God.
Loving Her as always though..


Peace y'all.it's the fag life. :)

The Beauty of..

Forgiveness.Big word huh?Mother Teresa once said.'' to learn to love,you need to know how to to Forgive.''.isn't that true?if you are all mean and aggressive and malicious towards other people,how can you forgive should one do wrong unto you?let me go thru wad the pastor preacher about today ;

1. Real Forgiveness is UNCONDITIONAL.
to be forgiving,it has to be unconditional.when Jesus died on the cross,he asked God to forgive all the sins that Man has commited.the roman soldiers and the civilians were still unrepentant and did not seek forgiveness.still,Jesus asked for all Man,you and i,to be forgiven.that is the true way of Forgiving UNCONDITIONALLY.

2. Forgiveness DOES NOT minimise the seriousness of the offense.
Imagine this happening.there would not be a need for singapore to have Changi Prison and a Court of Law.criminals would just be arrested by police and then get forgiven.thus like our daily life.should one hurt us deeply, emotionally or physically,Forgive them still. Forgiving is only a way of recovery.with recovery can there be a full heal.Never joke about Forgiveness as well.you never know if a small insult can result in a catastrophic cause to another.

3. Forgiveness isn't resuming a relationship without change.
You have just been conned.u Forgive the conman.but do u still allow the conman to con you further?No right?haha. it is about one's genuine repentance.restitution and a rebuilding of trust.

You cannot embrace your future if you cannot let go of your past.it is difficult,yes,to let go of the past.especially if your past was filled with the love shared with your loved one.thus you are scared of what the future holds,making you ever more resilient on holding to the past.but how can you know what the future hold if you do not move on?God has a way.He always has.Believe in Him and you can gain confidence from Him that He can make your future a better one.

For me,i always believe that life is all about moving on.you fail,you pick yourself up and move on.even when you succeed, you don't wear ur pride on your sleeve and boast about it.you move on and learn to progress.Jerblinn said in our FIRST cell meeting '' unsuccessful people are always just trying to survive.Average people just think of maintainence.but Successful people only think of progress. '' another thing that successful people also think of is moving on.when they move on, they learn from their mistakes after failing.many have asked me'' why do i seem untroubled despite the bad results.why do i seem untroubled despite a bad regatta.why do i seem to be happy all the time and also be able to help others by letting them talk to you? '' this questions have often come to me.i do wallow in self-pity at times.but that is enough already.i feel that the key to staying happy is to move on and trust that God will make a better future ahead.however, there are certain things that cannot be let go.like letting go of a treasured relationship with that special one.that is the problem im still living thru and the only thing from the past i cannot let go.

God Bless.
Forgive and Forget.
Learn to Move on.
Stay Happy.
Embrace the future by Letting go of the Past.

:) Peace.

Blah..

shall blog it tomorrow..lazy now.and super tired :)
nights-su!!

Boring..

Wishing for a tatoo..but not this..haha.nice tho..Yong was supposed to act 'giving' a rose

school was normal..just that.due to the lessons.i came out shagged..as if i have been having sex for 10days in a row..:):):):):):). no la..it was SS.PE.EL.REC.MT.CME.kaoz..how tiring can it be..happy birthday to lingzhen anyways..hahaha.so boring..accompanied weichin to pasir ris to do his Ez-link card.walked around whitesands mall.no bloody stalls that sells nice shirts!but saw a package about PSPSlim!$375 - console,memocard,pouch,clothe and holder.not that..its red tho.hahaha..hmm.day passed quickly.could not even sleep!!tuition at ms choo's.Amath Amath Amath.funny lesson..but really shagged!!haiz..dun wanna go on already.thinking of her thru and thru and wad weichin said..=.="". still cant forget her.FUCK!im sick..really sick..

GTFO.

im telling myself.not you.LOL.

Helpless when she smiles..

any..just being emo.LOL!anyways..lost my Amath textbook.really really pissed.FUCK!!!haiz.gonn whack that ass who took it.Amath test went with bit of ease despite a little difficulties without my trusty notes.after that was the Science Prac classes.stupid weizhi is making me pissed already with all his idiotic comments by calling me stupid..noob._I_ =.= _I_ . wtf siaz..i dun even complain when u guys do stuff to me.return me money also got so much difficulty..haiz.i still put up with it la.first day im in Chem Prac.difficulties understanding the different solutions that should be used together..made it thru tho.went to eat with james shaun and nick before meeting aravindh along the way.so 5 of us went to eat.just really retarded when we talk.when james starts the crapping on shaun..we just all join in.the best part was when we talked about what we aim to do after Os and which course we wanna go.really funny!!aravindh wants to go either areo-nautical/space.shaun had the same idea.james wanna go music&audio tech while i wanna go psychology.didn know wad nick wanna do since he didn say.and guess what..we sat there from 3++ till 5!KAOZ!funny how we could just talk for so long and time passing along.haha parted with aravindh and 4 of us walked towards tp.bus came and james and talked.haha.we were reminiscing about our past..then touched on him being with lingzhen at sec2 and when i was with rachel at sec3.ahah.paiseh until cannot paiseh loh.really tiring.but just enjoy it whenever with them..haha.much more fun and laughter rather then getting insulted by the other 2 gits.really cannot take their nonsense against me le.:(:(:(

Friends. are they important?take a look around you.are the people you hang out with are your real friends?and are you their real friends?i think i am with real friends.ben james shaun nick alfred junjie eric weizhi weichin mervyn jerome vikesh dinesh aravindh jerrold jonlee amos.but sometimes i really wonder im a friend to some.im always seen around those 2.but i always get suan-ed.ridiculed.getting whacked.this has been since last year.i enjoy their company.but sometimes they get too far into disturbing me by hiding my bag books and other stuff.i took that all in last year as we are still good friends.this year has been the same.no doubt i owe weichin 5bucks but weizhi owes me 30bucks.how to return weichin when weizhi has yet to return me?i have no more money already.so they ganged up on me again saying im such an ass for asking for money and not returning.kaoz.cant be bothered with them already.today..we changed places.weizhi went to the front and weichin and i went to the back.dunno wad he's feeling but he kept saying bullshit to me and even took my Amath textbook to hide.and guess wad?its really lost FFS.haiz.friends are not like this.yes this are part and parcels of having friends.but some do not know the limit of when to stop insulting a person.like with james and co. .we do suan shaun..but we know the limits and we stop.even among the sailors..quek used to like to suan me.but he knows the limits..then talking to me nicely.even nickde cruz..a good friend.he does say shit bout me coz im fat.but when he knows he has gone overboard..he apologizes and says no hard feelings there..i accept it readily.we enjoy it whenever nickdecruz damien shen me and wilbur get together.they know their lmits as well.hmm.really troubled over this issue now.they say friends always stick thru thick and thin.share their troubles and celebrate each other's joys.haiz..Friends are indeed priceless.just like God.absolutely priceless..just that once you lose ur friends over a bad incident..the chance of u guys becoming friends again are sth of a 2%.other 98% would mean not becoming friends again.but if u lose God..he will 100% help you go back to Him.no doubt.so don't lose both..coz Life would become meaningless without it.

God is Priceless.
Friends are Priceless.
Lose them at your Peril.
Live with the Happily.

Peace..later:):)

Any time.Any place..

Anytime, anywhere, any place
You could be anyone today
Maybe I will recognize
You on a crowded street
Maybe you'll take me by surprise
Will you be the one I had in mind?
There'll come a day
When you walk out of my dreams
Face to face
Like I'm imagining
Baby how can I be sure
That you're the one I'm waiting for
Will you be
Unmistakable
People say we're watching life
Through a glass
Desperately waiting on a chance
I know you're out there,
Holding on,
Holding out for me
How're we gonna know the time is right?
What if you're here and I'm just blind?
There'll come a day
When you walk out of my dreams
Face to face
Like I'm imagining
Baby how can I be sure
That you're the one I'm waiting for
Will you be
Unmistakable
How can I know a song
I've never heard
How will I know your voice
When you haven't said a word
How do I know how this will end
Before we begin, before we begin
There'll come a day
When you walk out of my dreams
Face to face (face to face)
Like I'm imagining (like I'm imagining)
Baby how can I be sure (how can I be sure)
That you're the one I'm waiting for (you're the one I'm waiting for)
Will you be (will you be, will you be)
Will you be (will you be)
Unmistakable
Unmistakable

Nice song by BackstreetBoys :)

I have been walking inside a haze..

ITS TUESDAY!20 MORE MF-ING DAYS!anyway..today had much stuff going on.first..school was first time not boring to the core.second.im class chairman.third tuition with ben is simply enjoyable.fourth sis bought me few shirts from hongkong.quite nice LOL!.fifth just got a 40dollar TopMan voucher.WOOTS!

Amath test tomorrow and have yet to start working on it.Life is looking up again.Ever heard of ' Where's the fun without the danger? ' haha.im sure u have heard of it before.sides..this can mean anything.im sure ur frens have asked u to participate in some activites that were dangerous but at the same time..be fun?have ur frens ever dared u to come along in the adventure to a rumoured haunted district?or to step into geylang's red light district?or even sports like wakeboarding.one hell of a ride but when an accident occurs..it is fatal as a crash can mean a broken limb that could cost ur life.
in life..one has to step out of their own comfort zones to reach another level of experience towards life.that is what this quote means as well.no doubt if u are a jack of all trades you are a master of none?but if u never try..how would u know u will fail?in life..one has to experience hardship in order to attain success.lets say for example..u are the best employee in ur company.year after year..u do the same concept that would ensure yourself being the best emplyee.but what if u are challenged to or asked to change to a new concept. u feel uneasy and disturbed.thinking that this is the way ppl are going to knock off ur title as the best employee.thus u think best of urself only and do a new concept but somehow u didn get the best emplyee award. so u start asking urself stuff like..i should have won.that is a new concept.im the best.but i would have still won if i stuck to the old one. is this wad u are going to tell urself?then u are not going to achieve much as sometimes..failure is the mother of all success.testing untested waters are always dangerous.but how would u know it is dangerous till u tested it?no doubt it always dangerous to venture into new stuff..but if u didn try it out. how would u know this is some stuff that can make u have fun and can somehow earn a living out of it?yes it hurts when u fail..theres the danger..but that is where u take an experience of life to another level.

Life is full of untested waters.
Try stepping out of your comfort zones to try new stuff.
Its is painful to fail yet fruitful as the experience allows us to learn.
Trust God all the way.
Lets take Life to another level.

I'm seriously sorry..

hmm..2 blows in less than a month..cant blame anyone but myself.but well..cant be bothered to talk wad happened today anyway.lets go to..

in Life..there are alwasy choices to make.choices that always involve day to day matters to education matters to important and urgent situations to almost everything in Life.there is also a choice between Life and Death.this choices moulds us into the people we are today.lets give a simple example : lets see..this boy was given a choice between foods.Lovely Fried Chicken to Vegetables.this boy thus chooses the 1st option.he likes it..and is given another choice.Chicken to Vege.he would still choose the chicken and if he continues making that kinda decision..he will indeed need some diet planning.for me as well..another example.an important choice i had to make 5 years ago.i was pri6 and i just got back my PSLE score.yes..187 is a pussy score.many of my friends scored fabulous scores and got themselves into good schools.while my score only meant SHSS.sides was a N(A) stream.my sister once said me being in N(A) stream is simply ridiculous.many teachers spoke in tune with her as well.i remembered i cried a bit.the next day.i was happy and jovial.i remember my friend once asked me.' hey marc..its only a day since u known ur results and u were crying.but today,it seemed as though nothing happened at all.' it does seem incredulous that after a day of total heart break, i was actually happy the next.let me tell u what went thru my mind.i had 2 choices- either hold my head high and tell myself maybe this is God leading me to a path not yet explored?or im just going to mull over my results and beat myself down like useless dickhead mofo.i took that choice to remain happy and not be discouraged.i did beat myself.but like what my mom said..what done is done..it cannot be undone.dun spill tears over wasted milk.
for these choices to be made.regret must never be present.y make a choice and be regretful?always make the right choice.whether is it a good choice or a bad choice.wad matters is that u were the one that made that choice and that u do not regret making that choice.i have already regretted in making a choice.that was to let go of someone i truly adore.so pls..dun let it happen to anyone.go to God for help for he can guide you..


Peace we out..
Sincerely Sorry..

Time heals all wounds...

hey there y'all..hmm.nvm.my day passed boringly.tuitioned then came home to DotA.goodness..needa stop!!!anyways..really boring day..not my usual sundays anyway.missing that one person made it even worse.wanting to buy those shirts made it a lot more worse!anyway happy birthday zena!!haha.stupid charles anyway..pangseh me for galfren.=.=!!feeling sick now..:(:(:(:(:(:(:( and school's starting tomorrow :((:((:((:((:(( hahaha

hmmm..where to start.Time heals all wounds..heard that line before people??tough to describe..but easily used to our lives long-term.what does it mean by time heals all wounds?does it mean that u get a scratch and over time it heals?well its sth like that.more towards humanly life.this line refers to..lets say..emotional wounds.i broke up with this charming girl of 1year3mths.it fucking hurts right?imagine spending all that time and effort into supporting her thru her major exams and then helping her cope with her many problems that she had faced last year.all that love and devotion and committment and sacrifice to be happy, to be thankful..was all wasted.yes..no doubt we did break up over a minor issue that could have been salvaged..but it showed her committment to me.it was all over on her birthday.it was a sad and a happy day for her while it was a really endearing day for me.just one sentence from her mom and other relatives was all it took for us to split.wow..but somehow..i have forgiven her..and myself.why?time heals all wounds.i can tell you that no matter how deep a hurt someone has caused you or how deep a hate you have towards someone..one day when u finally meet that one person coincidentally, are you going to carry on that hate and dislike for that person?or are you going to greet that person as a friend?time heals all wounds.even a really nasty gash on your leg will be healed thru time..so why cant that hate for that person be healed?you cant possibly hate that one person for life?many friends have asked me..why aren't you like all down and emo-ish after your break up?but on the contrary you are actually joyful and lively??i admit after that breaking up.i was really down.didn know what to do.went out with friends to enjoy playing lan.but somehow i didn feel a thing.it hurt that much.days later..i can tell you that i can look high again and say lets start a new.thru time..the wounds inside me healed.in my circumstance..the wound healed quickly.for many.its far worse.thus taking a long time.for time to heal all wounds.it also means that one has to have the courage to help the healing.not facing reality.hiding oneself to a corner.dis-associating yourself from other ppl.becoming a moody person.these actions will not heal your emotional wounds.if u cant face reality,you cant solve the problem.if u hide yourself from the society and friends, how can this people help you get over the crisis?if you become a moody person, nobody will want to be your friend and help will not be given.it doesn't matter that Love has failed or that Life is going down or even relationships with people.time can heal all wounds.no matter how painful they are.no matter how deep they are.no matter how gruesome they.it will heal.have the courage.ask God for that courage.have the willingness.ask God for the willingness.then your wounds will be healed.i have been thru this and the many posts i have talked stuff like this..i have been thru.i am happy now and will always be.no matter how bad a setback i suffer or how painful it is..i trust in God that he will show me the way to forgiveness and have the courage to continue living life happily.

so now peeps.now u know why im a happy-go-lucky person.LOL!
praying to God that Lindis recovers from her sickness.that she would recover fast from her sickness and give the strength to fight out whatever sickness she is going thru.Amen.

22 more days.

Where are those shirts I yearn for?
Where is that PSP Slim I yearn for?
Where is that phone I yearn for?
Where is that person I yearn for?
Loving God always..
Loving Her always..
Loving all my friends always..

Peace we out :)