Misery LOVES ME..

aight..today was supposed to be a day where the air will be filled with love for everybody.however for me,it somehow seemed only misery filling my surrounding air.ditched earlier, i came to school, had to stand coz i forgot to bring my thermometer and my songbook.then my sideburns got caught.bit of suan-ing from mr.chiang.didnt finish SS test coz went back late.was 'disposed' as chairperson.supposedly lost a set of keys for class lock.lost games in P.E. . yea this many things happened to me in a day that is supposed to feel love.RAHHHH!did i just hit a bad patch?or just really that sadded.earlier found out that she has 'criterias' bout the guys she wishes to have.i believe im somehow not there.

What is Pain when there is Love?
But what is Love when you only feel Pain?

That is the irony of life.you think things will just somehow spin your way but it just turns round you and choke you.this is my beef towards life.1 more thing might just go out of my way is the flowers im sending.will it change the situation?or will it just become weirder?dang.totally pissed!

If only I could go to sleep without waking up..
I would then have no need to face the music.
But life would never let you do so till you give your final breath.

Peace™ :(.

Hope?

been days since i came here.haha.either busy or just lazy.anyways..got ditched.yea.LAUGH IF U WANNA!I WOULDN'T HIT YOU!haha.tomorrow is valentine's day..and guess wad..im freaking alone..fag..gay!haha.school was quite ok today.japanese students on exchange to our school were the main attraction.talked up few while 1 really caught my eye.haha..IM NOT HORNY!dang.played blackjack all the way during free periods..was losing initially but well..lady luck was certainly shining on me soon.was losing like some 20bucks but won back and won $3.50 . haha while yong won 25bucks.wesley won 8.mark was banker so you can imagine his face when we finally ended.gonna study ss so yea..piss off marcus!!

I was never alone for God was and is forever with me.
But if she had actually said yes, it would have felt much much better.

Peace™:)

Some games can never be played alone..

soccer cant be played alone.basketball cant be played alone.sports teams always say : there is no I in team.Love is sometimes like a game.yes i may not be old enough to know what love is like, but i can at least say there is no I in Love.it takes 2 hands to clap ; 2 souls and hearts to combine. i am still thinking if the time i ripe and ready for the taking. some say music makes one turned on and when both share the same interest in the same instrument,things may happen. musical instruments should be banned in some areas of life.seriously.even in a duet, there is no I in there.that night i lied there paralytic.not knowing what the hell should i do.OK!STOP BEING EMO!hhahaha
anyway..soccer at 4+ with justinwong ri chris nick zhicao zul jackson.was really really fun.playing with them is always fun..though u get scoldings but still..in a fun way..hahahha.scored 3 today.amazing huh.lost my touch of late.haha..in the end blisters on the soles of my feet..grrr.came home and to starbucks..I SAT A PORSCHE!haha.uncle alvin's.ate at Thai Express since cartel was full.haha.only person lacking was micheal bah.always nick damian wilbur and i.mike has army to deal with..aye..
chinese new year passing so quickly.soon it will be valentine's day.soon it will be civil defence day.soon it will be me becoming a councillor.dang..

passed by simpang bedok today.dunno if that one person is reading this..but all that memory came back when i passed by there.first supper on our half a date.haha LOL

Some games can never be played alone..try it..it sucks.
Peace™:)

how i totally feel..

I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you
Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I hate living without you
Dead wrong to ever doubt you
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore you
Oh how I thirst for you
Oh how I need you
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
Breathing life
Waking up
My eyes
Open up
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I adore you
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I thirst for you
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I adore you
I...
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real...


Fuck this shit.
Peace™:)

...

it seemed awkward the whole time.haiz.but then..what can i have done?=.=life sucked and it totally did.haiz.5 of them stayed over my house.didn sleep till like 6.now i feel if im to ask her to the dumb concert in april..it would totally seem fucked up.LOL.
aye think i should just concentrate on studies first.no relationships i guess.anyway school today was quite retarded.lost 1-0 to izzat on winning11 PSP.sadded.haha.partied all the way.taught them how to play bridge.LOL.finally!anyways at hall, 5a won the champion for noticeboard.great achievement for those who did it.yup.CONGRATS!mrs calais is totally excited we won.haha.
reunion was an average affair.eugene was like the oldest and the norm : just 2 guys at the ' non-adult' table.ahaha.

Happy Chinese New Year anyways.
Peace™:)

Hmmm

aight.chances of me going to the april event seems slim since i cant get a date.LOL!but damn..if only i had the balls to do everything i can within my power, i would surely do it.so here is my piece : if i cant get her you people would not see me there.haha.anyways school was kinda slack.had a talk with mr ng about whether i should retake my E.math.he said i should not retake so that i can concentrate more on science CH and A.math.but well, decided that i should just put in more effort in those 3 but just maintain myself in E.Math.DUN TIRE YOURSELF OUT!ITS CHINESE NEW YEAR!haah..study champ after school again.funny thing was mr wee was our teacher.haha.weird huh.
bought another topman shirt.LOL!im not saying anything but im buying stuff from topman cos i have vouchers from some bank.so my parents are allowing me to buy my stuff there.haha.doing chinese work while watching Heros and also thinking about her.

Thank you God for giving my wisdom.Amen.
Peace™:).

No balls,No guts..

if only i had the guts and the balls, i might have left that house a different person.well i tried what i could to bring her along.aights.met james at sweemin's house coz he was doing up her wall.idiotic james.LOL nvm.between him and i.aye aye aye aye.it was there that i thought i lost myself.but then,james kept bringing me down to earth by disturbing my thoughts.hmmm.but...ALL THE DAMN BUTS KEEP COMING UP!i would just admit it.NO BALLS NO GUTS.if i had those...you never know.kept tempting her to come along e99's reunion dinner.STEAMBOAT!dang but she still doesnt want to.haiz.well..cant force cant i?

i asked this question to alfred:should i chase this seemingly impossible dream?
Should i?or shouldn't i?
i talked of my fears of what my actions might lead to her reactions.
What should i do?
Another surprise birthday celebrations again.for joseph and i.haha.THANKS E99!
Thank you God for all the wonderful people i have met through you.Amen.

Peace™:)